On our way to dropping off the kidlings at the in-laws last night, I said, "Brrrrr, I'm freezing." Jordan responded, "All girls are always cold. It's the man's job to warm them up." Jaw dropping, I said, "What????" Jordan said, "Alessia is always cold and she asks me to hug her to warm her up." (hobag)Between me, myself and my forever frozen hands and feet, I think, there are certain fundamental truths in this world concerning men and women. Interesting that my twelve year old son is starting to "get" them. After dropping the kids off, Luca and I headed to the movies to see Seven Pounds with Will Smith. I've loved Will Smith in dramatic films since I saw him in "Six Degrees of Separation" many years ago. Okay, let's put it this way, I would become bisexual for Rosario Dawson, without even thinking twice. How freaking hot is she?? The movie was interesting, sappy, etc. and my eyes started flooding when he killed himself to give her and the rest of the world his organs. However, I have to say they lost me when she went to find his eyes...and they were in Woody Harrelson's head. Creepy. But I was so into my cry that I could have almost stomached that, had the movie theater not flashed on the blinding lights in the theater the exact second the movie ended.
Can't a woman enjoy a good cry without being busted?? I had to wipe the tears, not a kleenex in sight and then, everyone in the theater started looking around to see who was crying or red-eyed. I like to cry in private. Would it have been so damn difficult to leave the lights out at least until the end of the credits!?!! Not only did it ruin my cathartic experience, but then I got totally creeped out about the eyeball thing. Would you go searching for your dead lover's eyeballs had he donated them??? Don't think I could handle that...and there is something so wrong about Woody having Will's eyes. Wonder what Jada thought about that. In any case, Rosario is hot. So, this morning the mil invited us to lunch, actually it was Sofia who called to invite us since she is telephone obsessed. My mil had made lasagna, we accepted. During the meal, as we were sitting and savoring the lasagna, Sofia picked up the two liter bottle of coke and began drinking out of the bottle. Oh no, no, no. I yelled at her and called her a truck-driver (if you are a truck-driver who does not drink out of the bottle- I apologize). I told her that was not princess behavior. She said, "Mom, you are a piece of shit!"
My sweet, adorable six year old lipstick-loving princess called me a piece of shit. I told her to say she was sorry. She said no. I said she would be grounded and thrown in her bedroom for the day. She said no. I said there was no way she was going to see "The Beverly Hills Chihuahua Movie" this afternoon. She started bawling hysterically. My mil said she didn't mean it, I said, she'll apologize. Sofia cried on. Luca laughed. I kept my poker bitch face. My mil took Sofia into the hall to have a little heart to heart. They came back after apparently they had reached an agreement. Sofia, blobbering and slobbering couldn't say that word. My mil said, "Come on Sofia, say you're sorry then Mamma will say she's sorry."
*Um, Noooo. Mamma will not say she's sorry*
I looked lovingly at my monster and said, "Sofia, Mamma will not apologize to you because, you did something you shouldn't have done and you opened a big mouth. I am the mother and you are the six year old child who needs to learn not to open a big mouth to her mother. I will not apologize to you, you will say you're sorry or no movie."
Does Sofia apologize at this point?
Nope. She proceeds to say, "You are a stupid piece of shit," She then gives me the finger and says, "Take that!"
I can assure you it took everything I had to keep a straight face. I looked at her and said, "You will say you are sorry."
Finally, after another half an hour of crying, stomping and seeing that I wasn't budging, she came and apologized. We hugged and kissed and made peace.
How did I get such a stubborn child with such a trash-mouth????