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Gotta Love Baltimore, Hon!

Posted Dec 09 2008 9:07pm

I live for facebook. My old boyfriend wrote me the nicest messages, I found three cousins, two elementary school friends and one Italian colleague this week. It's been a successful week aside from the fact that my computer blew up and my husband had to save my butt, once again. Anyway, my friend who I was pregnant with about a hundred years ago sent me this little thingy about Baltimore and it is SPECTACULAR!
(and SO true! Keep in mind, I left before we became the murder capital of the world)
1. You could pick crabs before you could walk.

2. From snow to hurricanes to heat waves, you've seen every kind of weather imaginable.

3. 695 gets you everywhere.

4. You stress the "Oh" in the U.S. National Anthem.(Always)

5. It's "DC", not "Washington"; "Hopkins", not "Johns Hopkins", and "goin' downa' ocean" means you're off to Ocean City, Bethany, or Rehoboth. (Here in Grosseto, we go to the "Sea." It just ain't right)

6. You've had relatives imprisoned at Ft. McHenry.

7. Half your high school graduating class went to College Park.(including me)

8. The opening of a Wegman's was the greatest thing to happen to your city in ten years. (My mom is a die-hard Wegman's fan and my cousin has been known to go just to escape from bathing his kids)

9. You put Old Bay on everything.(Note: Old Bay came with me to Italy!)

10. You hate the Yankees, the Steelers, and especially the Colts.

11. The murder rate is higher than the graduation rate.

12. You can go 1 inch beyond the city line and know that you're out of the city.

13. You don't wash your clothes, you "warsh" them.

14. You can pronounce "Havre de Grace." (Not the French way, the Baltimore way.)

15. You've gotten lost and ended up in the projects.

16. You know that The Power Plant is not for the production of electricity. (I have this image of Ira Garonzik and Warren Alperstein "Doin' the Wop!" GOD was the Power Plant FUN!)

17. You're pissed off that we have to share our only airport with DC (I mean, don't they already have 2?)

18. You remember when the Orioles were good.

19. You say "wuder", not "water".

20. On September 11, when you heard terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center, you thought they meant the tower by the Harbor.

21. You know where to get the best crabs, crab cakes, and crab soup.

22. You eat snowballs, not throw them. (Amen)

23. Cal Ripken was your childhood hero.

24. You're considered a Southerner when visiting New England, and you're a Yankee when visiting the South.

25. Distance is measured in minutes.(I try to explain this to Italians, they just DON'T GET IT!)

26. You know when to avoid the Bay Bridge. (I refuse to drive over the Bay Bridge)

27. Every one of your parents' childhood memories revolves around a Colts game.

28. A Berger is not something you grill. (Would DIE for a Berger cookie!)

29. Your Senator's website features a recipe for crabcakes.

30. You can spot a Baltimore accent immediately.

31. You watch a John Waters or Barry Levinson movie and recognize someone.(Always)

32. Artscape is the event of the season.

33. Five homicides is a good day for your town.

34. Lacrosse ain't no city in Wisconsin. (It's a Pikesville thang!)

35. School is out when there's an inch of snow, but when you can't get out of your driveway you somehow have to go.

36. You know what Natty Boh is. (Never drank Natty Boh-it's a Pikesville thing lol)

37. The idea of crabs without Old Bay makes you sick.

38. You think living 45 minutes from the nation's capital, 1.5 hours from Philadelphia, and 3.5 hours from New York City is the greatest thing in the world.

39. You think HBO's "The Wire" isn't violent enough.

40. Your car has a bumper sticker that says "BLIEVE HON"

41. The Washington Monument in your city is not a white obelisk.

42. You go to The Fudgery at The Harborplace just to hear singing.

43. You didn't realize that horses race at Preakness.

(funny, I don't remember Preakness lol)

44. You leave the U.S. and people ask you where you're from, you reply "near Washington" to avoid confusion. (ALWAYS in Italy, NO ONE EVER knows where Baltimore is LOCATED!)

45. You love your city and share this group with all your friends from Baltimore.
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