My friend and I went to dinner tonight and hit the gelateria for a cold one. We walked towards the center and she asked me to sit down. There before us was a circular bench with a plant in the middle, half in the dark, half in the light. I sat on the brightest part of the bench and my friend said, "Hmm. You chose the light and not the dark. And that, my friend, is the type of person you are." She was correct. And I consciously headed for the light, I actually felt a shiver of revulsion when I saw that dark side of the bench.
My friend is wise.
During my time in Baltimore we often visited my grandmother in the nursing home. She did not once recognize me, but she talked about Jodi who moved far away and left her there. She told me she loved Jodi. I told her Jodi loved her, too, that we were close friends and I would kiss her for her. Everytime Jordan or I would explain to her that I was Jodi, she would look me straight in the eyes and say, "YOU are not Jodi."
My grandmother is wise.
I haven't written because I have been emotionally blocked trying to, struggling to figure things out.
Diane is one of the moms I met through the Ci Circle. I have sent her many messages during the past two years and followed her son John's successes. We have so many things in common. She and her three kids came to visit us in Baltimore and we did pizza and bowling. We talked for about twenty minutes as our kids bowled. She went through a period of her life where she became a strong advocate, studied laws and became informed to help families of children with hearing loss. A strong advocate. Maybe we, as mothers go through a cathartic moment where helping others enables us to understand our own personal journeys.