I remember my very first friend I made on my own in 1st grade. She didn’t live too far from me. We happened to be at the park at the same time and she walked over to my brother and I and said ‘You wanna go play on the swings?’ And I followed her over and we gabbed about whatever 6yr olds gab about, and I remember asking ‘So, you wanna be friends?’ and the rest is history, 20yrs later, she STILL lives across the street from me and we’re STILL friends. Being that age, I remember asking ‘You wanna be friends?’ a lot. I’m not sure why, but I guess we just couldn’t assume we were friends after one trip to the monkey bars. Up till then, our parents did the matching up for us. Play dates, neighborhood kids, cousins etc. But to venture out on our own to make friends is a whole new experience, and something I perfected with a simple little question.
From first grade on, we pretty much had the same friends till the beginning of 7th grade. Everyone went to different middle schools and we were filling up on hormones. It’s the first time we even paid attention to the differences between genders. My next memorable friendship making skill, was done during 7th grade English. The blonde-haired girl who I sat next to turned to me and asked ‘You want a Funyun?’ I accepted, and now I had a new BFF.
Highschool was the most confusing and most opportunities earned. I had accepted snacks and asked for approval hundreds of times, now onto the next phase: ‘You wanna chill?’ This isn’t an invitation to be BFF’s, nor was it a definite we would even speak to each other after said ‘chilling’. This is a trial period. You were often invited by a group. And they would get a feel for you, all silently judging you, even though we were all too young and dumb to know what we were doing. Awkward friend-making begins here and will continue through the rest of your life. Unless you did something terrible, or accidently talked smack about someone else’s friend who was in that group, you were pretty much ok.
College = easy. Alcohol + Guys/Girls = friends. That’s it really. I’m not going to discuss the drama about trying to KEEP friends, this post is just about making them.
So now that you are a mature adult, with a job, a bank account, an apartment, some bills and hopefully some decency, how does one make friends that doesn’t involve swings, snacks, doing nothing and booze?
The friends you make now will always begin with a handshake, or a cocktail napkin. Friends of friends. Friends of co-workers, friends of boy/girlfriends. You have reverted back to the phase of now having your friends already picked out for you. Sometimes it’s amazing and easy, sometimes it’s not.
As you drift seamlessly throughout your adult stages, you have a chance to grow, try new things and even adapt and become the person you’ve always wanted to be. For me, that was a super active healthy individual who doesn’t cry at the thought of walking a few blocks. Not like I’ve ever been lazy, but you get it. Who thought I’d be riding my bike 100 miles a week, taking martial arts, or subscribe to Cooking Light?
The best thing you need in order to remain consistent with healthy lifestyle changes, is to be around like minded people. Not that your Funyun friends can’t stay, but to stay motivated, it’s important share common goals.
I love being active. It doesn’t have to be training for biking event or going to a trapeze class. Just going out, meeting new people who share your interests. Blogging, writing, photography, martial arts, running, reading etc. What if you’re trying something new or trying to expand your circle of friends? Well, it takes two things. Knowing where all these cool people are, and accepting there will just be awkward moments. Here’s where a little internet and balls come in.
We are familiar with Facebook, amiright? You can connect with every person you’ve ever met and who knows, they just might train for triathalons or take a Japanese cooking class! Hit them up , ask a few questions and make plans to meet up!
Meet-up is a great website that helps group together like-minded people. Like anything with the internet, be wary and use your judgement. Always meet in a public place!
Join a class! And just approach anyone who doesn’t have a scowl on their face. People are probably there for the same reasons. To play nice and make friends. Cambridge Center for Adult Education is a great place to scour for fun new things to try!
Once you’ve established a safe group, now what? How do you organize a bunch of people with busy lives to have a meeting, or attend the same event?
I recently discovered whichdateworks.com
Beats the 1000 email correspondence to try to see what works for everyone. So if you have a photography session planned, or trying to host a book club meeting, this is a great tool!
Also look up deals on Groupon , Buywithme and Livingsocial ! I have scored some amazing cheap passes and got a chance to meet new people and see what I like and don’t like! Hot yoga = no. Rock climbing = yes.
Ok… so now you have to get some girl balls ( or just use the ones that were given to you) and stick your neck out. Bring sanitizer, shake hands, introduce yourself.
And if you feel like you’re getting the cold shoulder, I’m sure there is a friend at the park with some Funyuns waiting for you to come over and chill…
I remember my very first friend I made on my own in 1st grade. She didn’t live too far from me. We happened to be at the park at the same time and she walked over to my brother and I and said ‘You wanna go play on the swings?’ And I followed her over and we gabbed about whatever 6yr olds gab about, and I remember asking ‘So, you wanna be friends?’ and the rest is history, 20yrs later, she STILL lives across the street from me and we’re STILL friends. Being that age, I remember asking ‘You wanna be friends?’ a lot. I’m not sure why, but I guess we just couldn’t assume we were friends after one trip to the monkey bars. Up till then, our parents did the matching up for us. Play dates, neighborhood kids, cousins etc. But to venture out on our own to make friends is a whole new experience, and something I perfected with a simple little question.
From first grade on, we pretty much had the same friends till the beginning of 7th grade. Everyone went to different middle schools and we were filling up on hormones. It’s the first time we even paid attention to the differences between genders. My next memorable friendship making skill, was done during 7th grade English. The blonde-haired girl who I sat next to turned to me and asked ‘You want a Funyun?’ I accepted, and now I had a new BFF.
Highschool was the most confusing and most opportunities earned. I had accepted snacks and asked for approval hundreds of times, now onto the next phase: ‘You wanna chill?’ This isn’t an invitation to be BFF’s, nor was it a definite we would even speak to each other after said ‘chilling’. This is a trial period. You were often invited by a group. And they would get a feel for you, all silently judging you, even though we were all too young and dumb to know what we were doing. Awkward friend-making begins here and will continue through the rest of your life. Unless you did something terrible, or accidently talked smack about someone else’s friend who was in that group, you were pretty much ok.
College = easy. Alcohol + Guys/Girls = friends. That’s it really. I’m not going to discuss the drama about trying to KEEP friends, this post is just about making them.
So now that you are a mature adult, with a job, a bank account, an apartment, some bills and hopefully some decency, how does one make friends that doesn’t involve swings, snacks, doing nothing and booze?
The friends you make now will always begin with a handshake, or a cocktail napkin. Friends of friends. Friends of co-workers, friends of boy/girlfriends. You have reverted back to the phase of now having your friends already picked out for you. Sometimes it’s amazing and easy, sometimes it’s not.
As you drift seamlessly throughout your adult stages, you have a chance to grow, try new things and even adapt and become the person you’ve always wanted to be. For me, that was a super active healthy individual who doesn’t cry at the thought of walking a few blocks. Not like I’ve ever been lazy, but you get it. Who thought I’d be riding my bike 100 miles a week, taking martial arts, or subscribe to Cooking Light?
The best thing you need in order to remain consistent with healthy lifestyle changes, is to be around like minded people. Not that your Funyun friends can’t stay, but to stay motivated, it’s important share common goals.
I love being active. It doesn’t have to be training for biking event or going to a trapeze class. Just going out, meeting new people who share your interests. Blogging, writing, photography, martial arts, running, reading etc. What if you’re trying something new or trying to expand your circle of friends? Well, it takes two things. Knowing where all these cool people are, and accepting there will just be awkward moments. Here’s where a little internet and balls come in.
We are familiar with Facebook, amiright? You can connect with every person you’ve ever met and who knows, they just might train for triathalons or take a Japanese cooking class! Hit them up , ask a few questions and make plans to meet up!
Meet-up is a great website that helps group together like-minded people. Like anything with the internet, be wary and use your judgement. Always meet in a public place!
Join a class! And just approach anyone who doesn’t have a scowl on their face. People are probably there for the same reasons. To play nice and make friends. Cambridge Center for Adult Education is a great place to scour for fun new things to try!
Once you’ve established a safe group, now what? How do you organize a bunch of people with busy lives to have a meeting, or attend the same event?
I recently discovered whichdateworks.com
Beats the 1000 email correspondence to try to see what works for everyone. So if you have a photography session planned, or trying to host a book club meeting, this is a great tool!
Also look up deals on Groupon , Buywithme and Livingsocial ! I have scored some amazing cheap passes and got a chance to meet new people and see what I like and don’t like! Hot yoga = no. Rock climbing = yes.
Ok… so now you have to get some girl balls ( or just use the ones that were given to you) and stick your neck out. Bring sanitizer, shake hands, introduce yourself.
And if you feel like you’re getting the cold shoulder, I’m sure there is a friend at the park with some Funyuns waiting for you to come over and chill…