How wonderful is it that we have already made it halfway through the week?! Yes please to that. Staying busy has been making time go by faster than ever… great to a certain extent, but also terrifying!
Anyway, I sincerely enjoyed reading the comment from Monday’s post. There was a great discussion going on, one where people shared their personal stories and explained their views, all in a respectable and knowledgeable way… I love that! When I write an in-depth and informative post, I do have the hope that it can raise both a discussion and also awareness on the subject. I have said this a number of times, I blog for myself, but I also do it to reach out to others. Knowing that I am making any sort of impact, especially with a topic like this, well quite frankly that means a lot to me.
Now it’s time for the food part of this program
Since we are now halfway through the work week, we have once again encountered that rather special occasion, What I Ate Wednesday! Jenn writing and doing her thing over at Peas and Crayons is the creator of WIAW, and I always look forward and appreciate her efforts! Thank you once again for putting this all together!
So every week I try to add a bit of “pzazz” to my What I Ate Wednesday posts, by focusing on some sort of theme or edition to gather my thoughts around. Until this past Sunday though, I was pretty stumped on what I was going to talk about. I had some ideas running through my mind, but they were lack-luster, and I knew I could come up with something else eventually.
On Sunday morning within a few minutes of waking up, I knew I had my idea for a WIAW post this week. Sunday ares are my typical rest days from working out, but for some reason, I was mentally struggling that morning.
Eating the necessary amount of food on rest days.
I know I have talked a number of times on the discomfort I feel on rest days, but how both important and ESSENTIAL they are for our bodies. Without a proper amount of rest, our bodies will slowly but surely break down- constant fatigue will set in, muscles will never repair, strength will never be built… over training will eventually become obvious. You do not need to be a hard core athlete to “deserve” a rest day, every.single.person with some sort of workout routine needs them.
No, this is not yet another post on the importance of rest days- I need them, I feel fat and lazy on them, get over it. However, my current struggle is HOW MUCH to EAT on rest days. So I am not burning any extra calories today, so it makes complete sense to restrict or limit my food intake to a lower level! Incorrect, wrong on every level, and something I need to work on!
I am far too tempted to restrict on the days of rest, hence why I was feeling discomfort on that particular Sunday morning.
I knew what my disordered eating voice wanted-
I am always amused (sarcasm) how my brain can warp incorrect logic around into something that actually seems correct.
As you know, these conversations happen in my head far too often, but lately I have found the recovering side of my mind beating out the disordered much more often than not. Again I will be honest with you, the whole day on Sunday I wanted to take in “a bit fewer” calories… but we all know where that type of thinking can lead–> right back into the tormenting cycle and abuse of an eating disorder.
Therefore I made the executive decision to eat normally that day, even with several treats thrown in there! I mean it was Superbowl Sunday after all
I had even gone out the night before- drank and ate a bit more than normal… so of course I need to fix that damage! Again no, and these are the sort of thoughts and actions that just really ought to go away.
So to counteract the disordered eating thoughts and prove them wrong, I began my day with a normal breakfast:
Yogurt/Cereal Mix- 2% Passion Fruit Chobani, flax seeds, Kashi cereal, Vanilla Soy milk, and strawberries- perfection…. never gets old
This was consumed around 9:00 and just about 90 or so minutes later, I was already feeling those nagging hunger pangs.
Apple with a handful of almonds.
Having a snack at this time, on a day that I had not worked out yet, and was not planning to, is pretty awesome to me and shows how far I have come. I mean just about a year ago a single apple would be the only food I would have before lunch… and that was usually around 2:00 pm. So yeah, I wouldn’t really eat anything until then, after running sometimes 10 or 11 miles just hours before. Good grief.
I would say about 93% of the time, I begin my day with a workout, either at the gym or outside for a run. In the past three and a half years of my college experience, I have had the luxury of scheduling classes that begin later in the morning, and therefore I am able to workout, shower, eat breakfast and get myself ready for the day without having to wake up too early.
I am have been loving this routine as it allows me to start my morning with a bang, get my workout over with and then be all set for the rest of the day.
Let’s be honest here though, a major part of this is the influence of the eating disorder, and the “need” I feel to burn calories… so I can eat without getting fat. At the worst times, I believed that moving my body (alot!) was the only way to avoid gaining weight- food would surely make me gain crazy amounts of weight if I didn’t work out, no matter what was consumed.
A surprisingly tasty dish from the dining hall!
In the vegetarian section they had a “Kale Salad” salad featured mixed with sweet potatoes, onions, white beans, and carrots, all tossed in a honey mustard glaze sauce… err I think. Anyway it was really tasty, and something I do not normally see there! This was a bit of a “scary” decision for me, as I really had no idea how the salad was put together, aka how much oil was used or other fearful ingredients…. oh and on a rest day?! Madness. Oh well, it’s good for me, I need it and that’s that.
I also had a bowl of fruit topped with Quaker granola from the cereal section,
Pineapple, raspberries and granola… delicious. I add cereal like this to fruit because I like when the cereal sticks to the fruit peaces and then adds a bit of crunch with each bite. Those two sweet flavors but different textures are just great together!
Since the Superbowl was on later that day, I thought it would be an appropriate time to get my baking on. Then I could bribe my residents to like me more via sharing delicious baked goods
I ended up making brownies but spruced them up a bit by adding white and peanut butter chips into the raw mix and baking them. Once cooled, a I melted the bit of white chocolate I had left over and decorated the top. This was a very simple dessert recipe of course, but it’s hard too get complicated when I am at school. I am lacking pretty much every dry ingredient that is needed haha.
Oh and obligatory tasting of the batter certainly occurred
These certainly were a hit and I received lovely compliments that they were great! I had a rather large square to myself, and did my very best to enjoy and savor each component and flavor of the brownie.
At this point it was around 4:00 and yeah, I was feeling a bit “guilty” about not working out and eating as I normally do. But it’s moments such as those, when I am feeling down on myself, lazy, ashamed, etc, that I realize these feelings are coming through because I am going against what the disordered Tessa is telling me to do. Fighting against those thoughts and feelings is really uncomfortable and feels awful, but in my opinion, that is when you know you are winning.
On that note,
Dinner was consumed earlier than normal because of the start time of the game. I wanted to eat before and not have to worry about being hungry during it, or leaving the party so I could go and eat my “special” dinner alone. Ugh noooo, none of that. Instead I picked up something at Whole Foods (I was out on errands anyway, had to stop in ) and had a quick but hearty meal before the game.
A random lentil/quinoa dish filled with peas, raisins and chickpeas with some kind of sweet vinaigrette. I also had a cup of 2% plain Chobani sweetened with honey on the side, as I thought my protein intake was lacking at that point.
I watched the Superbowl with some of the people I work with, and it was good to be social of course, but the game kind of bored me. Sorry to all of you fans out there.
However, I did really change things up by snacking on a oldie but goodie snack mix,
I also randomly had one of these granola things-
not bad, but really just too flippen tiny. I consumed this in literally 2.5 bites.
We all know what happened during the game….
So there you have it, What I Ate on a REST DAY…. a day that still poses a major mental challenge to me, but when I am persevering through. Reflecting on this particular time again shows me how truly far I have come. Just over a year ago, taking a rest day was not even considered letting alone actually taking one. And then once I started to take them one day a week, I would restrict and eat less than I ought to.
Can’t do that kind of stuff anymore, not if I am really taking this seriously. You cannot half-ass recovery or try and take short cuts. It’s an all or nothing deal, and pushing through the discomfort is necessary, especially at the times you feel like giving up.
-When you take a rest day, do you find that you monitor your food intake more closely?
-Do you feel that eating the same/more on rest days is important and do you actually do it?
-How do you push through the mental (sometimes!) torture a rest day can be? Do you find other ways to ease your anxiety or fulfill that “high” the exercise gives?
-Any new product finds lately? The MUNCHIES mix is not new to me, but it was fantastic to bring back into my life
-Tell me about the very best item/dish/meal you ate in the past week!
Have a fabulous rest of your Wednesday!