Thank you for the birthday wishes yesterday , they all meant so much to me! And I had a very pleasant day indeed
I hope you aren’t sick of me yapping about my birthday quite yet, because this is what the post is about, and I am also going home to celebrate with my mom on Thursday…no school on Friday! Yay for home, I am rather psyched.
I am a fan of how fast this week is going by too, only one more day and then homeward bound. Wednesday is also a fantastic and I am sure you can guess why…What I Ate Wednesday! Props and gratitude are given to Jen for putting this together once again. Thank you pretty lady.
Today’s edition of WIAW is actually what I ate yesterday on my birthday, as I mentioned I was planning to do. Lots of tasty dishes and treats were consumed and most importantly, I enjoyed what I had. So let’s get to it!
What I am continuously fighting to break away from is the ever-present thoughts and actions that go into forming my day around food- what I am eating, when the meal or snack is, who I am with, where I am, and so on. I schedule my classes, tell lies , fabricate excuses, and utilize my skills of persuasion, all so that I can have my “special meal time.” This is a result of putting food on a pedestal and giving it this esteemed position and rule over my life.
During the darkest times of my illness, every meal had to be perfect. I had to be with the right people, or preferably alone. It was necessary to be reading something for pleasure or on my computer- no homework during my special time! It was a requirement to have enough time to eat my meals in the order I want. It had to be the right time of the day. And of course, only the healthiest food were allowed, and in minimal portions.
Thankfully I have made strides and have improved in several of these former regulations… and the need to control every component of my meal has diminished to a certain extent. The whole “eating when you are hungry thing” remains to be a challenge, but steps are being taken in the right direction.
What I am striving to do accomplish now is the simple goal of not thinking about food so darn often… I mean duh. So for my birthday, I did not want to go into the day just thinking about FOOD. Meaning that dwelling on all of the treats I would give myself permission to have, debate consuming, the healthy items I am “not” supposed to have, because hey it’s my birthday…
What I am attempting to articulate is that while treats would add delight, my birthday is not all about food, it is just a part of it that makes the day even more special.
I faced the day with an open-mind. I would eat what I want to, not think about calories, and truly try to understand what I want.
What I learned from yesterday was that I do in fact enjoy eating healthy. It makes me feel good, gives me energy, clears my skin, and mentally I feel satisfied knowing that I am nourishing my body the best way that I can. And you know what that is okay. It’s okay to form your meals around fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, whole grains, lean meats, and all of that good stuff.
What is NOT okay is only consuming these types of foods because they are “safe” because you (read: I) feel a strong NEED to only eat from a ever-diminishing list of foods. Nothing beneficial comes from constant restriction and deprivation of other items. In fact, you become quite moody, angry, anxious and a bit crazy… trust me, I know.
I am currently in the phase of understanding that really and truly treats are just fine. I eat so darn healthy all of the time and, crazy stuff right here, treats and indulgences are completely alright!
I love how my body thrives when I nourish it properly, but I also love the way ice cream tastes, the way chocolate melts in your mouth, the way candy corn sends me into a delightful sugar coma, how when you bite into an egg sandwich, the yolk breaks and oozes everywhere on the buttery toasted bread and cheese… Or how about the luxurious way a perfect piece of grilled meat is so flavorful…
Okay you get it, I like food, both healthy and not-so-much.
Yesterday I ate what I wanted to- a pleasurable mix of tasty nutrients and treats that make my day just a bit brighter. My existence is beyond food, I want to spend my day thinking about other things for once, enjoying all of the other rather fabulous things that life has to offer.
So after that long-winded explanation, this is What I Ate Wednesday, Birthday Edition!
Breakfast: My usual greek yogurt/cereal/milk concoction with delicious plump blackberries:Yes this is what I normally have for breakfast, but again, it’s okay! It’s okay because I genuinely love the way that this meal tastes, and that I am providing my body with plenty of nutrients that enable me to keep on healing and thriving. Lunch: I had a salad. Now you may be rolling your eyes right now, but hear me out. This salad had my favorite fixings- spinach, peppers, mushrooms, cucumbers, egg whites, tomatoes, cottage cheese and sunflower seeds. I can’t help it though, lunch is a delightful part of my day because of this salad! All of the flavors are just so darn tasty together-and they each add a unique component to this beast of a salad. The sunflower seeds add a satisfying crunch, cucumbers are nice and crispy, perfectly rip tomatoes, salty, yet sweet cottage cheese….. YUM! It’s great to look at this dish, see all of the healthy colors of the food, and knowing that my body is thanking me for all of these nutrients. Don’t worry though, I did change dessert up, it’s my birthday after all Instead of my usual bowl of fruit, I had this: Rice krispie treats! A classic favorite But wait…before I finished the second one, I thought of how I could make this plate epically better… Soft serve vanilla ice cream on top of that second rice krispie, with chocolate sprinkles of course! Ice cream is not complete without sprinkles. Am I right?! Most importantly, I did not feel guilty after this. Perhaps I had more calories than the usual massive bowl of fruit I have… but that is just fine. Perhaps this did not nourish my body as much as fruit would, but it did nourish my soul I suppose the rest of the food here is all part of dinner! A friend of here made my day so much more glorious by decorating my room, giving me a few very thoughtful gifts, and taking me out to frozen yogurt… my choice of another dessert. Yes, frozen yogurt is healthy. However, it’s what I wanted. I mean they had pumpkin spice available, how could I not pass that up?! Instead of blueberries, raspberries or other various kinds of fruit I usually put on, I did switch things up and topped the froyo with gummy bears and oreos. Perfect. I think I have made it very clear through my blog that I have a major sweet tooth! Therefore other snacks included anything I was pining for… all sugar-based delights. Snacks of the day (you might notice a pattern here): -Chocolate covered pretzel, nugget thing -A piece of Toblerone N More chocolate with honey and almond nougat…drool I also enjoyed yet another honey crisp apple with a bit of almond butter (not pictured) and basically whatever I felt like picking at that I was in the mood for- mostly in the form of candy! Soooo I was planning on making cupcakes for my co-workers, as we have staff meeting at 9 on Tuesday nights, but I had a minor baking disaster. I was making healthified ones by mixing chocolate mix with pumpkin, a combination I have made with success before! However, some of the batter dropped into the oven, started to smoke, which made me go into a frenzy. It was not so much the smoke that was scaring me, but the potential for a fire alarm! I immediately turned off the oven, got too frustrated to continue and stopped the process. But I had a friend with me, so we were able to laugh about it, instead of getting annoyed Plus I had a healthy portion of the raw batter, which is honestly what I wanted the most anyway. I would say that I am proud of the choices I made. I enjoyed healthy, flavorful and nutritious dishes, and the treats and splurges I have been denying myself of for far too long now. Do I feel guilty? I suppose the food guilt is an ever-present dark voice. But I am choosing not to dwell on that negative feeling and instead, appreciate the progress I have made with this entire process. My birthday was a wonderful time… food was involved, but it did not shape the way I went about my day. It added pleasure, rather than the angst I have known for so long I believe as I continue to enjoy food rather than set it at this level of esteem, well then the relationship will continue to heal, and I will be alive once again. I would love to hear from you, 1) How often do you incorporate treats and splurges into your day or week? Would you say you follow the well-known 80/20 “rule” of eating? <–Work in progress for me! 2) What kind of cake do you like to have on your birthday? Or if no cake for you, what is a favorite dish for your special day? Chocolate cake for me, which I will attempt again this weekend 3) What is the best thing you ate this past week?! The rice krispie/ice cream dish did add a whole new level to lunch today… Thank you again for all of your well-wishes yesterday, you helped to make my day even more glorious