I hope you don’t tire of hearing this but seriously guys from the very bottom of my heart, thank you for your support, input and advice regarding yesterday’s post. It seems that several of us struggle with such irrational feelings and routines that we know are simply wrong to a certain extent. I also appreciate those who shared their personal experiences and stories because reading these allows me to hope that I can reach a peace regarding this. So my friends, thank you.
Now onto a more light-hearted subject! And it being Wednesday it can only mean one thing, it’s time for yet another round ofWhat I Ate Wednesday, started by miss pretty lady Jenn over at Peas and Crayons! Every week this bandwagon gains even more members, so let’s see if we can all make this the most successful WIAW yet, mmkay?!
Last week I talked about how different my training started out this year as an RA, in the best ways possible. That was honestly such a well…(for lack of a better term) fun post for me to write because it allowed me to truly reflect on my personal growth in the past year. Since then, I have been continuing to go out for dinner with my staff and consume things beyond my standard bowl of oatmeal, or a sweet potato, cereal, etc, and actually eat things I am in the mood for (well actually that is partially true, if I was eating what I REALLY wanted- I would have full-on pizza and ice cream every night… le sigh). This minor action of dining with my staff has enabled me to not only get to know them better, but challenged me almost every single night to fight those voices that are telling me to stay in my room and isolate my self with my “safe foods.”
For today’s WIAW, I thought it would be great to share some dessert recipes that have yet to make an appearance on zee blog, even though I made a few of them earlier in August! I have even proclaimed myself as the “baker” on the staff, so I was able to get my baking on in the kitchen I found in the building. I am rather pleased with this, as I thought I would be cut off from all time in the kitchen believing I did not have access to one… glad to be wrong in this situation
I have come so far with baking, as I have talked about a number of times on my blog. Before my disordered eating took a constricting hold of my life, I spent time in the kitchen because I truly enjoyed creating recipes and actually tasting what I made (oh and having my share of batter too ).
But then this debilitating mental disease took over and I continued to bake, but my relationship with this hobby grew to be a rather “sick” one. Basically I would make wonderful creations in the kitchen and not try, taste or consume even a single crumb of whatever was made… yes even the batter would not tough my lips.
I would bake and cook numerous items for people, relishing in the fact that I had this power to “resist” these tasty treats, and yet others could not. I really hate to admit that, but I became obsessed with the elated feeling I received when I watched others consume my desserts that had all of the butter, sugar, oil, etc in it. Sucked for them they felt that they just had to have a nibble… I on the other hand could resist and restrict! Little did my disordered brain understand is that the people that were eating my desserts were not dwelling on the thoughts that I was, they were simply enjoying a treat, a minor indulgence in the day, which is perfectly fine to do.
In fact, the only person that was suffering in this entire situation was me. I was not allowing myself to even have a morsel of a treat and I was miserable because of that. Yet I masked my true feelings by repeatedly telling myself that eating just a bite would make me fat and I would feel so much better without any of it. How lovely.
I am still not at the point where I can simply sit down to a piece of cake, or a cookie, cupcake, brownie, and so on, and be able to enjoy it without guilt. In fact i am rather far from that mindset. On the rare occasions I do have one of these items, I debate it for an unnecessary amount of time, and then either have just a small bite, or inhale it quickly to make it “go away.” I talked about this in Sunday’s post - how I know I love sweet treats, but am so afraid to eat them. Well life is too dang short for such ridiculous thoughts like this!
I have come such a long way from the worst time of all of this- actually tasting the batter and finished product is a fine (and enjoyable!) thing for me to do now. I am striving to work around the irrational thought process that treats= doom and gloom, and that life is all about moderation and balance! Simple words, but with such a powerful meaning.
So let’s actually get to the recipes of this post! I hope you enjoy (Btw none of these are healthy, and that is okay!)
These are the basic ingredients that were used for each of the recipes… and yes you see real butter and sugar in there!
Peanut Butter Pretzel Layered Brownies
(Sweet + salty combination= party in my mouth) Adapted from How Sweet It Is
She made these brownies for an 8×8 pan but I modified it for a 9×13 pan… more people needed to try these bad boys
1-1/3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter or margarine
3/4 cup baking cocoa
4 eggs, beaten
2 cups sugar
1-1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon almond extract
2/3 cups chocolate chips (optional)
2 cups creamy peanut butter (use natural)
1/2 powdered sugar
2 1/2 cups crushed pretzel pieces
10 tablespoons butter, melted
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour an 9×13 baking dish and set aside.
Combine melted butter and pretzel crumbs in a bowl until moistened. With the back of a spoon, press pretzels into the 9×13 pan making a crust. If pretzels seem loose, drizzle some additional melted butter over top of hit with a quick shot of non-stick spray.
In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, then add vanilla. With the mixer on medium speed, add in cocoa, flour and salt, mixing until combined – about 2 to 3 minutes. Fold in chocolate chips. Using a spatula sprayed with non-stick spray, evenly spread brownies on top of pretzel crust. Set pan on a baking sheet and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until brownies are baked through.
When brownies have about 3 minutes left baking, melt peanut butter (I melted mine in the microwave in 30 second increments then stirring) in a bowl. Once melted, stir in 1/2 cup powdered sugar and mix until no lumps remain. Pour over warm brownies and spread evenly. Refrigerate brownies for 1-2 hours, then cut into bars and serve.
These were really not difficult to make and turned out wonderfully! You could even use a pre-made brownie box recipe such as Duncan Hines, Betty Crocker and so on.
Apple Streusel Cheesecake Bars
(A great recipe for fall, and another easy peasy one!)
1 pouch oatmeal cookie mix (you could make this part from scratch, but I take short cuts sometimes, sorry about that! )
1/2 cup firm butter or margarine
2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons AP flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 can (21 oz) apple pie filling
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottom and sides of 13×9-inch pan with cooking spray.
Place cookie mix in large bowl. With pastry blender or fork, cut in butter until mixture is crumbly and coarse. Reserve 1 1/2 cups crumb mixture; press remaining crumbs in bottom of pan. Bake 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, in large bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar, flour, vanilla and egg with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth.
Spread cream cheese mixture evenly over partially baked crust. In medium bowl, mix pie filling and cinnamon. Spoon evenly over cream cheese mixture. Sprinkle reserved crumbs over top.
Sprinkle with walnuts.
Bake 35 to 40 minutes longer or until light golden brown. Cool about 30 minutes. Refrigerate to chill, about 2 hours. For bars, cut into 6 rows by 4 rows. Store covered in refrigerator.
My mom brought these to work her her coworkers and friends, and she said at least four people asked for the recipe! You know it’s a success when that situation occurs
Streusel Topped Blueberry Muffins
Apparently I have been in the mood for a cinnamon-sugar topping, the streusel is my favorite part! The blueberry muffin recipe is a fairly basic one, but if you ask me, there is nothing quite like enjoying a muffin int he morning…sans guilt! Again, not at this point yet, but I did try a half of one of these (plus batter obviously!) and they were so so good.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Grease 12 muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners.
Combine 2 cups flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in medium bowl. In a small bowl, sprinkle 1 to 2 tablespoons flour over blueberries, and set aside. (This simple trick will keep you from having “purple” batter).
In a large bowl, beat 1/2 cup butter with 3/4 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, and stir in vanilla and lemon zest. Fold in dry ingredients alternately with milk. Fold in blueberries. Remember, fold gently, don’t stir.
Spoon batter into prepared cups.
Combine 2 tablespoons flour, 5 tablespoons sugar ,and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon in a small bowl. Cut in 2 tablespoons butter with fork until mixture resembles course crumbs. Sprinkle over batter in muffin cups.
Bake in the preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center of a muffin comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire rack. These muffins freeze really well, and re-heat in the microwave successfully.
I used this recipe when we had the yard sale , to give to pepole stopping by to check out our stuff. I asked every single person what they thought of these when they tasted them and I received only positive remarks I also made these in the dorm kitchen with my new staff and few days ago and yet again, they were a major hit! The lemon ingredients really helps to bring out the flavor of the blueberries, the best part if you ask me (well besides the buttery, sugary topping of course)!
And now thanks to this post I am starving! Time to get some breakfast in me and then take on what I need to for the rest of the day!
Have you ever had a similar relationship to baking and cooking as I did (and sometimes still do!)?
Are you more of a sweet or savory person?
Which of the recipes on your page is your favorite?!
What type of muffin are you more inclined to eat?
And the obligatory WIAW question, best thing you ate in the past week?! Mine was when I had one of these muffins! I crumbled a half on one into my morning bowl of cereal (sounds weird, but it was good!)
I look forward to stalking your eats today too, can’t wait as a matter of fact Have a wonderful Wednesday!