So, for a long time, I've experienced a lot of shame and anxiety over
admitting my weight to other people. As if it will change their opinion of me, or even their opinion of how I look. As if it could change someone's opinion from finding me attractive to finding me repulsive. As if everyone I know will think, "Wow, I never thought she was fat before, but
now that I know her weight...!"
Well, whatever.
This doesn't change anything! Hey! My body still looks the same. Well, actually, I'm hoping it looks a little sleeker. You see, way back in January we had a Biggest Loser competition at work (I might write about that some other time... it's coming around in a few months again anyway!) and after eating a huuuuge lunch and drinking two liters of water, I weighed 204 pounds at my first weigh-in. I was
flabbergasted - I'd expected around 10 pounds less, knowing that my weigh-in when I joined the gym in June 2007 was 193. I
never expected to weigh more than 200 pounds. To me, that had always been a weight for men, or for women who surely look like
this , and I looked like
this . I didn't really accept this stat about myself, but I did learn to put it out of my mind. But now,
slowly but surely, I've started losing weight.
I bought a scale over the weekend. I'm kinda worried about owning one and getting a little obsessed with numbers; it's all too easy to just step on the darn thing every single time I use my bathroom. And I DO think I weigh a bit more than others with the same average size/measurements as I have, but maybe not, I dunno. Either way,
my focus here is not numbers, it's health.I read on someone else's weight loss blog that it was important for her to have a scale while she was losing weight but once she was in a maintenance phase, she noticed herself becoming obsessed over normal daily weight fluctuations.
That seems to make sense to me. It's incredibly motivating to see the numbers on the scale get lower, and if I ever see them get higher (I've had the scale for only a few days...), I'll know that I need to work on something.
So hey. I weighed 188 pounds last night.
That's 16 pounds lower than my highest weight ever. I'm 5'4", and if you go calculate my BMI, you'll see that it's pretty definitively in the obese range at 32.3. My short term goal is to get it under 30; long term obvs. to get it in the healthy average range. I don't particularly have a weight goal, exactly, because I have no idea what is my personal healthy weight. Is it 140? 120? I just don't know.
Well,
my driver's license says 135. HAHA!
Well, whatever.
I bought a scale over the weekend. I'm kinda worried about owning one and getting a little obsessed with numbers; it's all too easy to just step on the darn thing every single time I use my bathroom. And I DO think I weigh a bit more than others with the same average size/measurements as I have, but maybe not, I dunno. Either way, my focus here is not numbers, it's health.
I read on someone else's weight loss blog that it was important for her to have a scale while she was losing weight but once she was in a maintenance phase, she noticed herself becoming obsessed over normal daily weight fluctuations. That seems to make sense to me. It's incredibly motivating to see the numbers on the scale get lower, and if I ever see them get higher (I've had the scale for only a few days...), I'll know that I need to work on something.
So hey. I weighed 188 pounds last night. That's 16 pounds lower than my highest weight ever. I'm 5'4", and if you go calculate my BMI, you'll see that it's pretty definitively in the obese range at 32.3. My short term goal is to get it under 30; long term obvs. to get it in the healthy average range. I don't particularly have a weight goal, exactly, because I have no idea what is my personal healthy weight. Is it 140? 120? I just don't know.
Well, my driver's license says 135. HAHA!