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Walking one little baby step at a time

Posted Nov 01 2010 2:27pm

During the past week following my consultation and appointment with Dr. Cook, I've been acutely aware of the miracles in my life--both small and not-to-small. There are some things in life that happen in such beautifully aligned orchestration that I can only attribute them to a higher power whose eyes can see things from a perspective that I cannot.

I've always loved maps, so a few years ago I came up with an analogy that I picture at times like this...

I imagine a paper road map of the state of California all unfolded and spread out. I'm like an ant crawling along on the map, only able to see a giant ink line in front of me. Sometimes I can't even tell what that ink line's name is, but I just continue to follow it. Then there is God--the holder of the map. From His perspective He can see the map in its entirety and can see the things my ant eyes cannot see from my limited vantage point. He can see that the black ink line I'm following is actually a road--Interstate 5 to be exact. And if I continue traveling in the direction I'm headed, I will eventually reach a wonderful destination--Disneyland! My loving Heavenly Father can see each leg of my journey plainly. He knows there are some odd little towns I must pass through. He knows there are rest areas along the way. He knows there are off-ramps I could take if I'm not paying attention to His navigational guidance, and I can get lost. But if I'm ever lost and wandering, He's always there to navigate me back to the road I need to be on whenever I'm ready to finally listen again.

I have felt like that little ant this past week... in a good way.

Because our current health insurance through Hubby's employer (a health care provider itself) didn't cover any of the specialized services I will need, we were facing some hefty expenses. The black ink line in front of us seemed extremely daunting.

But as divinely orchestrated timing is often perfect, my physical complications increased significantly over a short period of time so that I would seek out medical information and advice over the months of August and September. I would have continued to just put up with things otherwise, because I hate going to the doctor for anything.

All that researching led me to find Dr. Cook's website and get an appointment only a week before the month of October ended, coinciding perfectly with the October 31st deadline of the open enrollment period of Hubby's employer the only time once a year when we could change our health insurance options.

And, miraculously, his employer now offers one health insurance option outside their facilities/network that wasn't offered only a few years ago. That PPO option will pay 90% of in-network costs and 70% of out-of-network costs. This means that Dr. Cook and his assistant surgeon are the only two items that will be out-of-network for my surgery. The rest can be arranged in-network.

As an added blessing, our new health insurance option has a maximum out-of-pocket cap on it that is a fraction of the original medical fees we were going to have to pay over the next year with pre-op, surgical and post-op costs. There will still be out-of-pocket expenses incurred, but I am hopeful that some creative projects I have planned will contribute significantly to paying those so our household budget doesn't take a hit.

I am humbled by it all... truly humbled. And I am filled with immense gratitude.

I will have to wait until the first of next year when our new health insurance coverage takes effect to move forward with surgery, but I can tough things out for a couple of months. It is a small price to pay.

In the meantime, I'm just going to continue to walk along that big black ink line one little baby-ant-step at a time.
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