I’ve never hated Valentine’s day, attached or not. But it has been a particularly unlucky day for me each year. And partly because I forget it’s Valentine’s Day. And I do genuinely enjoy what it’s about (behind all the bad stuff). For me, Valentine’s day should be about spending it with people you love, doing the things you love doing together.
Here are just some of my favorite V-Day stories, because I’m an awful awful person:
- Last year, I spent my Valentine’s day single and my 19yr old cat died in my arms at the animal hospital. I cried for an eternity.
- Another year, I spent it crying in the back of the cab with a bouquet of ‘break up’ flowers and left overs from the restaurant where I was just dumped.
- I had another boyfriend surprise me and give me a tiny bunny that eventually grew into 20lb monster and tried to rape my cats. I had to give Princess Bunny Foo Foo Face away.
- I went to roller derby practice one year and completely forgot it was Valentine’s day and came home to a very pissed off and dressed up boyfriend waiting to surprise me and take me out to dinner. I paid for that one for months.
- Another year I went out to a very fancy dinner with a boyfriend and got food poisoning for the very first time. To date, it was the closest to death I have ever been.
This year for Valentine’s Day, I get to spend it as an assistant instructor at taekwondo class(woohoo) and fighting invisible spiders that try to eat me while I’m sleeping (that’s another story).
The Boyfriend is a Valentine’s Day fanatic, I’m slightly terrified. All I ask, is that there is not a grown man in a diaper and wings trying to shoot me with arrows.
If you have any fantastically awful Valentine’s Day stories, I’d love to hear them.