When we embark on a spiritual path, we can sort of get the wrong idea about things. We kind of human-ize it too much. At the onset of our journey, we think it is this blissful, airy-fairy journey to a destination. And it does have its blissful and gorgeous moments, of course. It’s the bet path we can ever choose to take.
But then shit gets real and our shit comes up again. We receive a Universal Smackdown in the form of a repeated pattern (addiction, inappropriate behavior, etc.). We’re forced to confront the same fears yet AGAIN.
Even though we decide to embark on a spiritual path and become more aware, present, and loving people, our experiences don’t change – but the wayin which we experience our experiences do. Our feelings don’t change but the way we process our feelings do. The Universe wants us to build mental muscles and the only way to tone them is to have repeat situations of the same ol’ thing, so we can build the strength to handle it with as much presence and right-mindedness as possible. We need to look at our experiences as opportunities for growth – but that doesn’t mean those opportunities for growth will be easy. The spiritual path is not an easy path. The path of self growth is not an easy path – but it’s always worth it.
If you’re comfortable all the time, then you’re doing it wrong. If you’re comfortable, you’re living a safe life in a fake bubble. We can’t just throw an affirmation over our negative feelings and trust that things will be okay. That is not how I roll and I hope that is not what you get from what I teach. We are here to do the WORK! And the work is not always fun and enjoyable – but it is always worth it.
As I mentioned yesterday, it has been a tough couple of weeks for me. I’ve been navigating this new thing called “living with your boyfriend” and it’s a great thing. I love my boyfriend and I love our relationship. We work well together. We’re a team. But last week, I started getting really anxious and “stuff” was coming up. I didn’t know what stuff; all I knew was that it was really painful and really uncomfortable. I kept my positive mindset in terms of being willing and ready to learn the lesson but I didn’t just throw the affirmation over it. I felt everything that was coming up and said a simple my prayer to the Universe, “I am willing to learn the lesson here.” That’s the thing with feelings – they’re like a detox. We have to feel them in order to heal them. And the more we become willing and open to simply feel our feelings, the sooner we can heal them.
I was driving to work yesterday when it hit me. I’m actually going through a mourning period. I didn’t even consciously realize it but, before Matty and I moved in together, in the back of my head, I was subconsciously holding onto the idea that my family was somehow still a family as long as I wasn’t living with someone else yet. I’m shedding the layer that is the little girl that relied on her parents for so much. Now, I am a strong woman who is really conquering life on her own, without the crutch of her parents. For me, that is something really really big to conquer. I leaned on my parents for a lot of stuff.
So, instead of resisting your feelings, feel them. Be gentle with yourself. Ask the Universe why your feelings are here and nurture them like you would nurture a child. What you resists persists, so feel your feelings and honor them by asking why they’re coming up. You don’t have to know the answer – you just have to trust it will come to you.