It felt so good to be back at Bob's this morning, especially since my kids had me pulling out my hair for hours before I got there. I needed to workout.

Now I'm sitting at work and eating oats in a cup cause I forgot to bring a bowl.

with some added almond butter of course

After logging into Facebook I followed Rachel Cosgroves link to her blog and it was so good today that I shared it on my wall and I'm sharing it here too... 14 HOURS OF CARDIO, 1200 CALORIES=NOT A LIFE!

My favorite quote:  

"I find that my female clients feel great and have their fit female body that they can still enjoy life and have energy at about the 18%-22% range. If you are setting yourself a goal to maintain below 18% body fat, my first question is WHY? You don’t look any better below 18%, you won’t feel any better, and you will have to be much more strict and not be able to enjoy yourself."

And the kicker to that is, if your not enjoying yourself, YOUR NOT GOING TO STICK WITH IT.

I did the whole 2 hours of cardio a day PLUS an hour of lifting weights and 1200 calories(certain days had a touch more) and you know what that was called?...COMP PREP INSANITY.

But, all that does is f*ck your body up. Your metabolism is now shot, congrats. You may look great for a very short window of time, but that doesn't even matter cause YOU FEEL LIKE GIANT ASSHOLE and nobody can stand to be around you. So what's the point?!  There is no way to be able to maintain that, no way. Then your back to your original body plus 15lbs. Welcome to my world.

Stop. Just Stop.

I did. My body will never be perfect so why bust my ass for something that's not even remotely possible. I'm done beating myself up, it's a waste of precious time and unnecessary stress. My body is what it is and at 36 years old I'm just ready to be happy and content. If I never wear a bikini again(and I'm not talking about just on a stage, but poolside as well), oh well.

I am not twentysomething, my skin is not tan, my boobs are not fake and my legs don't look good in a pair of daisy dukes.

I have freckles, stretch marks and saggy 36L(ong) mom boobs, thigh cellulite and chubby ankles and to top it off, a nose that's a little too big for my face.  None of that is going to change no matter how old I get, 40, 50, 60, 70...in fact it's all going to get worse. My freckles will mix with liver spots, my stretch marks will get their own wrinkles, my boobs will get lost in my back fat and from what I've read your nose doesn't ever stop growing (or your ears), so yeah, when I think like that and then look in the mirror I think, wow...

I am awesome.

Than I put on my workout clothes and think, daaaamn...

I am awesome.

Then I put on my vibrams and think, sweet...

I am awesome.

Then I put on my boxing gloves and think hells yeah...

I am awesome.

Then I work out and think, who's your daddy...

I feel awesome!

I love who I am right now, every unflawless bit of it.