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TO COURT, Or NOT TO COURT?

Posted Jan 29 2008 6:00am
What good are the legal documents that define a divorce when there is no enforcement mechanism?
My ex-husband has broken several major aspects of the Judgment as well as 2 consent orders. Yet, my therapist and several divorce-court savvy people have strongly advised that I not go back to court.

Why? I cannot nor should not expect that the court can moderate bad behavior. Therefore, I should not look to the judicial process to make good on these legal agreements. Given that my ex-husband is a clinically defined narcissist, meaning he thrives on confrontation and an opportunity to win, and acknowledging the limitations of the court, there is no way to present the truth when at least one party is playing to win, at any and all cost.

The situation is so bad that this father threatened the child therapist with ethics violations if she tried to see the child despite her acknowledgment that the child is in crisis and needs professional help and his claim that she needs help as well.

What's a mother to do? Where am I suppose to turn? How does a single parent help a child stuck in a high conflict scenario when the other parent is hellbent on disrupting the system so as to protect his self-serving actions?

Does anyone have some constructive and effective suggestions?
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