Attracting a new relationship into our lives or improving the one we already have means that we must become aware of our relationship blueprint and make the necessary changes to allow what we desire to blossom. These changes can be greatly aided by understanding the correlation between your relationship blueprint and your environment's blueprint. Strategic adjustments to your space will enable you to make positive enhancements to your love life and increase your happiness quotient in all your relationships.
Exploring your relationship blueprint
Let us begin to discover who we are when we are in relationship by looking within and asking pointed questions. Examine your relationships with others, and linger on the intimate ones by noticing if they are nurturing, loving, supportive. Gauge how you feel within them. Start with your relationship with yourself. Do you like yourself? Do you feel vulnerable? Do you feel unimportant? Or, do you feel vibrant, alive and useful? Is your life meaningful? How do you see yourself in a relationship? Are you waiting for the love of your life so you can be whole and happy?
Consider now your intimate connections. Do you have a partner? What kind of partner do you have? If not, what kind of partner do you want? Are you married? Dating? Lonely? How is your sex life? What do you have to offer your present or projected partner? What are your gifts?
Next,focus on your parents. What is/was your relationship with your mother? What was your parents' relationship like? How do you perceive their marriage? What things are left unresolved? What about other family members? What about your grandparents? How do you now perceive their relationship?
Continue by exploring your relationship with your siblings, especially sisters. Any unresolved hurts? Any consistent differences? Move further and consider other relationships in your life? Who are the difficult people in your life? What makes them difficult? Do you encounter people who are uncaring and bothersome? Do you envy others' relationships? What are the losses you have experienced in your life? Are you still carrying them?
In answering these questions, a picture begins to emerge. You will begin to see a pattern that appears in all the relationships, particularly in the intimate ones, because through each relationship, we replay information we collected since birth while role-playing. We were brothers, sisters, cousins, best friends, lesser friends. We were boyfriends, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandchildren, neighbors, vendors, buyers, dependents, independents. Each role became a filter that we use now to relate to others. Some relationships we experienced up close and personal and at other times, we were observers. In all instances, we assessed love and made decisions about loving and being loved. This is our love filter, or relationship blueprint and it forms our relationship vibration.
If all is was well, you attract healthy relationships. Healthy love relationships blossom in your life because each partner loves and appreciates themselves first and foremost. Each feels whole and powerful; each feels vibrant, creative and loving toward others. Each value their parents and their relationship and appreciate and love their siblings. Both notice love everywhere!
The difficult relationships have a damaged love filter, so we attract another's faulty love filter. Feeling incomplete, you may look for the ideal partner to complete you. A friend mentioned the other day that she looked for partners to bring her out of her shell. Therefore, she continued to look for relationships with powerful men and bold risk takers, only to find out that they were actually untrustworthy, rather shallow, but good for the excitement. She did not trust herself to take risks on her own. What makes us feel incomplete is that in the process of assessing our love quotient we also created dualities. We judge that a person is nice. Another person hurt me. I am good, others are not. He didn't love me. She did not pay enough attention to me. Eckhart Tolle writes that "what you react in another you strengthen in yourself"1. When you blame others or complain about others not behaving properly, not caring for you, or not loving you enough, you create separations. In creating relational hierarchies, you also deny yourself the benefit of learning from the circumstances by accepting responsibility for your role in it. When you feel unloved, you feel is the operative phrase. You lack love and you want someone to give it to you. So a faulty love filter is lack of self-love based on how you perceived the relationship situations many years/days/months/lifetimes ago. Above all, when you feel unloved and unlovable, you see yourself as separate from Source, God, the Universe...Yes, many of us have suffered deeply while being in relationship with others, yet when we dismiss our role in the relationship we are holding on to a misperception of reality. You don't condone someone who has hurt you deeply. You simply forgive yourself for allowing others to hurt you and release the other from perpetuating the role in the entanglement. This is the work in fixing the blueprint, forgiving ourselves and forgiving others by releasing the feelings and emotions attached to those relationships. What you now discover is that when your vibration is one of self-love and deep self-respect, others negative actions or thoughts cannot break the energetic barrier it creates. When you feel powerful and whole, you have gifts for others and others have greater gifts for you. You are one with God, as Jesus says in Matthew 5:48, "Be ye whole, even as your Father in Heaven is whole".
Exploring the blueprint of your house
The last paragraph dealt with self-created dualities. There is no better means to understand how we are connected to everybody and everything than to examine the blueprint of the place we chose to live in and to see the correlation with our relationship blueprint. In healing our physical environment, we heal ourselves. Answering the questions becomes easier. Forgiving becomes easier. Loving ourselves becomes easier. We stated that harmonious couples are easily formed because they are a vibrational match. What is interesting is that when you enter their homes, you feel this vibration. The opposite is also true. Disharmonious matches are easily seen everywhere, especially in their homes! To understand this synergy, we are going to use the ancient principles of Feng Shui, as they are best suited to read the vibrational energy in an environment as it interacts with people's personal vibrational field. These principles will help us in healing both the space and ourselves.
Feng Shui has been used for thousands of years in the Orient to arrange the best spaces for living, working and burial siting. It is now widely used throughout the world and my company uses these principles in all the environments we create, with enormous success. A prominent tool used in applying Feng Shui is an energetic grid called the Bagua. This grid is used as a guideline to follow how energy enters a space, how it travels through it and where specific vibrational areas are located that are stand-ins for nine life situations such as relationships, wealth, fame, family, creativity and children, career, benefactors and knowledge and spirituality. The center, where all the areas converge, provides stability to the structure and its occupants. It holds the balance and health of the house and its occupants.
The Bagua grid is applied over the floor plan and aligned with the front door like a clock that can be stretched to match your home shape-see fig. 1. Your front door will always be located at the 7:00 o'clock, 6:00 o'clock or 5:00 o'clock quadrants. The 1:00 o'clock quadrant will always represent relationship energy. The other areas are arranged as drawn on the grid on fig 1. See http://lidiascher.wordpress.com/feng-shui-2/.
For example, if your relationship is lacking energy or is simply lacking, you may have an irregular floor plan, or L-shape as shown in fig 1. The house has a missing area or "gua", its Chinese name. A missing a gua lacks the energy represented by that gua. Living in this house, you will have trouble attracting relationships, or keeping them, your relationship with your mother may be strained, she may have died unhappy or you were crossed with her, and it may be difficult to have a good connection with your sisters. If you are a woman, you may feel unfulfilled, empty and unlovable. If you are a man, you are lacking balanced female energy. You may not be able to hold on to relationships, and your relationship to women-mother, sister, friend, wife maybe unsatisfactory.
Boost your love life!
Having a healthy love life is not easy especially if you are not willing to work a little bit hard for it. It takes more than an overnight change of mind and more of sheer will and desire to change. So if you are planning to reignite the passion that you had in your love life then you just have to rethink some things and then start working on it!
First, get physical
Give your body that seriously needed boost. For most, if not all people, it is hard to resist the temptation of a Twinkie over the healthy and doctor recommended apple. But, if you really want that wonderful love life once again , then you just have to be strong enough to resist the Twinkie and grab that apple as fast as you can! Having a healthy love life in this era of TV, internet and other multimedia is not easy. Going on a nature hike or walk or a bicycle ride does not sound very appealing compared to the thought of watching your favorite videos on the computer or TV. This is why many people are suffering for their ruined bodies and eventually, their love life. This does not mean that you have to go on a strict diet but, it means that you just have to treat your body with more respect and exercise regularly to increase your body's health.
You can start with some cardiovascular exercises if you want to. We are not just making you choose the healthy style just for nothing, all this advise contains important and relevant things that you have to know if you want to boost your love life once again. According to the Harvard School of Public Health men who are physically inactive are 40% more prone to encounter erectile dysfunction. You must prepare yourself since you can be the foundation of a better love life.
Most people do not know that certain foods affect us in a certain way. Energy level, behavior and even our feelings are changed in a certain way. When we feel off on certain days we often say that we must have eaten something bad or that we need to eat better food. Then, when we feel great on certain days, we don't usually attribute it to the food that we intake. We must realize and acknowledge more that what we eat contains vitamins and minerals that can really boost our daily emotions and actions.
Eating right can make a big difference in your love lives. If you are healthy enough and active then you'd have the type of love life that will always make you smile when you start thinking about it. This is because most people who say that they have problems with their sex lives are actually just suffering from poor nutrition. They can pinpoint that they have issues with their sex life but, they fail to acknowledge that they have a problem in the vitamins and minerals that they take. This is not as hard to solve as some people might think. In some cases all you have to do is cut out all the vices like smoking, drinking and others. Start eating right and then avoid too much sugar, fatty and fried food. Lessen your wheat and milk products and then avoid soft drinks. Increase your intake of teas, juices and other healthy drinks. This is just simple advice but it definitely has a great impact.
Take vacations! Do not overwork yourself, vacations are there for a reason. Being a workaholic or thinking too much will eventually knock you down. It can cause colds, ulcers, heart attacks, asthma, stroke, chronic fatigue and many more illnesses. When you get home, you can de-stress with your significant other by just watching a movie together, spending quality time, talking intimately or enjoying an intimate lathery bubble bath for the both of you. You can even add scented candles and other stuff to enhance the relaxing atmosphere. Your love life will definitely take a good turn if you follow this advice. They're all just simple and very basic ideas but they can definitely do wonders! Try it out and see how much glow will come back to your love life!
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