- This week marks my 1-month anniversary at my new job. This job is SO MUCH MORE CALM than my old job. Publishing is not for the faint of heart, and it took me nearly four years to decide that the editor’s life was not for me, but–since it was my first full-time job out of college–I had NO idea that quieter, calmer, less stressful jobs existed. This new job, where I have a quiet office and finish all my work before the end of the day, and get to read manuscripts in my free time/over quiet evenings at home, is just awesome.
- I realize that many of my eating struggles (especially the sugar struggles!) over the last few years were not due to some lack of mental or emotional strength on my part, but mostly due to STRESS! I have no problem making it through the afternoon without a 4PM sweet snack now, something I grew accustomed to at my old job. We’ll see if this change lasts . . .
- I am running my 10K this weekend. I feel ready! My friend Jen and I have done two practice 10Ks, and we feel prepared. I haven’t been posting about my training runs because I think I’m secretly embarrassed that my version of “training” is running once, MAYBE twice a week, gradually increasing the distance, and just taking long walks the rest of the time (with an occasional yoga class thrown in). Really, that’s nothing to be ashamed of! If anything, it should prove that, if you’re scared of taking up running, it’s not as scary as it seems, and you don’t have to get up at 5AM and go running every day to see progress.
- I am feeling WAY more calm about both food and exercise these days. I think part of the reason why is I decided not to “feed the beast” by posting so often about struggles/insecurities. Venting about that stuff was definitely necessary for awhile, but at this point I think I’ve finally started to BELIEVE that my self-worth is not any less just because I weigh more than I used to.
- Part of the reason I haven’t been posting regularly in the last few months is that I DO feel better, and I feel really happy about the fitness strides I’ve been making. I can honestly say that, for the first time in my life, I’m exercising 100% for the mental clarity and confidence it gives me (and of course the endorphin buzz!), not because I know it’s burning calories. However, I am reluctant to write about fitness milestones b/c I don’t want to “gloat.”
- Similarly, I grow tired of blogs where people talk about how great they feel, how happy they are with their diet, and how fit they feel, having made peace with food and accepted themselves for who they are. If you’re not there yourself, it can feel like it’ll never, ever happen to you. I am shocked that I’m getting there. And it took breaking down everything I was used to–replacing secret freak-outs with blogging, weight watchers with intuitive eating, the gym for the park, veganism for flexible-plant-based vegetarianism–to begin to get there. This is how it has worked for me, but it’s certainly not how it works for everyone!! And I never, ever want to make someone feel worse by writing about how I’m feeling better.
I do have a few upcoming posts planned (including recaps of my trip to Sarah ’s CSA farm this weekend and my first (and maybe last?) BeamGreen event last night courtesy of Diana, but I wanted to put it out there that I miss more regular posting but have trouble due to all of the above (the whole not-having-my-own computer thing makes it tough, too).