This is your husband. Now this is your husband during football season.
Posted Nov 22 2011 7:36am
Typical Weeknight Conversation:
Me: Hey honey, how was your day?
Mike: Fine. Same old same old, just another day. What’s for dinner?
Me: Um I was thinking chicken and baked potatoes?
Mike: Mmm, sounds good. Need me to do anything?
Me: Nah, it’s fine. Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes.
Mike: Cool. (turns on the ever present ESPN)
Typical Conversation on a Ravens Football Sunday:
Me: So what time’s the game?
Mike: It’s a 1pm game so I need to leave here by 9:30am at the very latest to get down there, get a parking spot, and then head over to the tailgate before hand, and then start walking into the game around 12:15. No later cause I hate when I miss the opening. Hey have you seen my jersey?? And my Ravens hat and t-shirt? I thought I put them right here, but now I can’t find them anywhere! Seriously did you move them?
Me: (search room for less than 1 minute). There are here. In your drawer. Where they should be.
Mike: Oh not that jersey! That’s the one I wear when we play away games. I want the purple Flacco one cause it’s a home game. Oh here it is! Ok, well I swear they weren’t there like a second ago.
Me: (silence because it’s freaking 8am on a Sunday)
Mike: I’m like already late I still need to stop at 7-11 for breakfast and maybe a coffee. And damnit I still need to get beer. What do you think Zach is gonna bring? Should I get stuff? I dunno, maybe I’ll just get a 6-pack. Ok gotta go to get that stuff, and I still have to go to the ATM too. Alright, I think my buddy is picking me up soon
(feverously texting 10 million people to coordinate where he is meeting them)
Me: (sipping my coffee and counting down until the moments of silence).
Mike: Wait where’s my cellphone?? I left it right here and now it’s….oh wait it’s in my back pocket. OK now I’m really leaving. Love you!
(wait 10 seconds)
The man can’t decide on a simple dinner, yet he can coordinate an entourage of men for a football game.
Granted, let’s not get into my memory for useless Real Housewives gossip….