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The Power of Negative Thinking

Posted Jun 30 2010 10:37am

I know, it sounds counterintuitive, positive thinking is all the rage. There is probably some ridiculous research out there that says people who think positively are more successful (I always wonder how they measure stuff like this). We always tell children if you think you can, you can etc. Overall, I'd say I am an optimist. I am happy and I enjoy life. However, I also subscribe to the belief that one should always hope for the best, but expect/plan for the worst. Thinking my kindergarten kids will behave perfectly when I'm being observed is not going to get me anywhere. Planning a lesson where I anticipate aspects where they might have difficulty and prevent these from spiraling in a negative direction, now that's going to help. Maybe they won't need any of my prevention strategies, maybe they would be perfect little 5 year old angels, but better safe than sorry.

So now, when it is most needed, I am going to begin the power of negative thinking for a certain day that is coming up...July 10th aka, wedding day. Personally I feel that after our hotel going bankrupt, having to scramble for a new location for our closest family and friends (along with ourselves), moving our welcome party (which was also supposed to be there) and having pouring rain for our bachelorette/bachelor parties, it SHOULD be sunny and gorgeous on July 10th. Unfortunately, as our parents told us as children, life simply isn't fair. In all reality, this idea that life isn't fair is actually a massive advantage to me, as I've definitely had more than my share of luck in my life.

I know the "life isn't fair" philosophy applies to weddings as well...

#1-It poured for my friend Tiff's bachelorette party, then her wedding day was what can only be described as a monsoon. On the other hand, it was gorgeous days for the rest of my friend's bachelorette's and nice days for their wedding. So in fact, if you go by my friend's alone- I should expect it to rain on my wedding day, since it rained on my bachelorette.

#2- My friend Ash went to a wedding on the Cape last summer. It was for a lovely couple that has been together for a long time. The husband has a heart condition and has spent weeks in the hospital at a time, with his lovely wife right by his side. If anyone deserved a gorgeous wedding it was them. But gorgeous it was not...some crazy end of the summer hurricane came up the coast and that was what they got on their wedding day. So yeah....life isn't fair, weddings aren't fair.

So instead of thinking positively that it WILL NOT, CAN NOT rain on my wedding day, I am taking a new approach.

First, I am getting myself excited about back up plans. I love the place where I'm getting married and although it will not have a great view of the water if it's rainy out, it will still be an amazing place. My photographer plans to bring fun umbrellas so we can still have outdoor pictures. My hair will be secured in place by insane amounts of hair spray. Everyone will probably be able to hear what we say during the ceremony better. It will be fine.

Second, I am remembering some of the fun weddings Eric and I have been to in the rain. We had a great time regardless and so did the bride and groom.

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Thirdly, I am not checking the weather. At all. Later today I am going to set parental controls on my computer so that I am UNABLE to go to www.weather.gov or www.weather.com on my computer. Seriously, I need to be physically restricted because I am a big weather checker. I will also avoid the news and if anyone even considers telling me I will cover my ears. The reason why I will not check it is because, let's face it, the weather is wrong A LOT. The worst part about the rain on my bachelorette party was the fact that for over a week it has said it was going to be a beautiful day. We were all talking about how perfect the weather was going to be, sunny, not too hot etc. Then, slowly, as we got closer to the weekend, the chance of rain got higher, and higher. Until it was very clear that we were going to be sitting in the rain watching a Red Sox game.

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Did we have fun still? Of course! So really, the worst part was disappointment that came with the expectation that it would be a beautiful sunny day. This time, I will not have the expectation. I will assume it's going to rain, and if it doesn't, I'll be happily surprised. I was really pissed off at those weather people for lying to me last time. I even looked up how much money they make and was even more angry to learn that they make double my salary only to be wrong CONSTANTLY. If I was wrong that often I'd definitely be out of a job. This time I will not let the weather people fool me again. Ever heard the expression, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? Yup, thats right you crazy overpaid weather people, you will not fool me again :)

Do you think to expect the best or the worst?

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