Chapter 1: Let’s be serious
Last weekend I had a very random moment of “what the hell?”
I decided that I am actually going to do something. And dammit, when I decide to get all serious about something, shit gets real.
I decided that its time to actually lose weight.
This has been a goal of mine for a while. But I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been half assin’ it. I guess I just haven’t had optimal motivation, I lost interest, I just didn’t put my heart into it, etc. I mean “lose 20 pounds” has been on my goal list for like, the last 5 years.
Okay, so maybe my “what the hell” moment wasn’t so random…
Something did initiate it.
While at the doctor for my annual appointment a couple weeks ago, usually they just weigh me and say “okay…no change there” and move on. Not once has anyone ever said anything about “oh you need to lose a few, oh you need to watch it, blah blah” (I have weighed the same for about 5 years) but this time I got some nurse that was all over zealous and shit….I actually got an “okay lets look at the chart…”
The “how hefty are you?” chart. Ding ding ding! (I think it was actually called like “Are you a healthy weight?” But I like the way that “how” and “hefty” sound together…ha).
I was actually kind of [really] interested in a good way, because no one at a doctors office has ever talked about my weight..and I mean I kind of knew I could stand to lose some obviously for my height.
So she goes on, “Okay, so you are 5’3 and 167 pounds….. I would say you have a medium frame…. so let’s see…that means you are almost in the obese category.”
Excuse me the fuck what?
Okay. I’m not in denial, and I knew already that I needed to lose at least 20 lbs; but I am hardly obese. No wonder so many people in America are “obese.” Basically I am 20 lbs over the “healthy range” for someone with a LARGE frame. And I am considered a medium frame.
Naturally… I went home and did some research on that damn “how hefty are you chart” to see if it was an inaccurate portrayal (I was kind of hoping). I know everyone is different and whatnot, but damn – I found pretty much the same info everywhere I looked. That shit was legit. (The chart at my doctor’s office had similar numbers to this one if you are curious).
Anyway. I was kind of like DAMMIT… this means I really should try to lose some weight.
Chapter 2: Ugh. WEIGHT.
Weight is a hard thing for me though, not in the sense that I have had a huge struggle with it or am emotional about it – I’ve actually never had a problem with it; and I tell people what I weigh without thinking about it – but more in the sense that I don’t feel like weight is necessarily the “best” indicator of how healthy you are. You have heard me say a million times that I fluctuate 3-5 pounds almost daily. Daily. I mean what the hell? (I tried to weigh myself daily for like 2 weeks to see how my body responds to stuff… yeah that didn’t last long).
Like some people are all “I lost 3 pounds!” and that is awesome for them, but damn. I lost 3 pounds yesterday. And gained 4 today. And I’ll lose 2 tomorrow probably.
But seriously, I will use this as an example:
Last May I was in really good shape. I say really good shape because it was the best I felt and the best I looked in a while. I thanked my then newish training program for that. Fo sho’
And one thing I was super happy about – I had dropped almost a solid two pant sizes(!)
Well… I was only 6 pounds lighter than I am now – I weighed 161. As someone with a good 20-30 pounds shouldn’t be that noticeable, you know what I mean?
Yeah. The scale isn’t a friend of mine.
It’s funny because I read or follow all these other people on their journey to healthy/weight loss/whatever and everyone ends up ditching the scale because they see how it isn’t their best friend.
I feel like the opposite. I hate the scale, but for once, I actually need to use it.
Chapter 3: So why is now the time?
I think I finally just decided I need to get it together. Luckily, when I actually put my mind to something, I am pretty serious about it. That’s how I know I’ve been backburner-ing this goal for a while.
Naturally, I want to lose weight so I can make that chart my bitch. I feel like making a doctor appointment when I lose like 20 pounds, asking for that specific nurse, and doing it all over again and be all like this to the chart.
But really, like I said, I’ve know before that that I’ve wanted to lose some… for a couple reasons. Mostly, I knew I was considered overweight for my height. So in a way, thank you over zealous nurse – maybe that was the extra motivation that I needed?
And I feel like everytime I go into my closet I do the “dammit I have nothing to wear” thing as I am surrounded by clothes because I just don’t like the way stuff is fitting me. Yeah, yeah, how very vanity of me.
But really, I feel pretty good. I think I am the healthiest I’ve been in a while.. so why not finally dedicate myself to getting that number down?
Chapter 4: But I love foooooooood
Seriously. I love food so much.
Luckily, I love exercise too. A lot. So I have that goin’ for me.
But dammit; no matter how much denial I was in, I finally realize that this statement is true….“You can’t out exercise a bad diet”
WHY. Why does that have to be true? But it is… and I hate that [stupid science]. Because I love food (I wonder how many times I will say that before this post is over). But okay, I don’t really have a bad diet. Actually, comparatively speaking, its not too shabby at all. I don’t eat fast food, I don’t drink soda, I don’t eat a lot of processed stuff, I have cut back my red meat to once, maybe twice a week. I eat a lot of fruits and veggies… etc. I just eat a lot of that healthy food. I’m like a bottomless pit. I mean I eat a lot, and sometimes I eat kind of fast. And sometimes I get protective over my food (like Joey on Friends). I mean there have been times at restaurants where Torrance was like “geez, sometimes you’re scary while you’re eating.” And I’m like “shut up and eat your Bruschetta……….Or I will.” But no, really. This is where I need to get it together. I just need to be a little less… enthusiastic. I need to cut back on the carbs some. And I don’t mean like Atkins diet style, I just mean cutting back to a normal amount. I’ve been known to carb load like I’m running a marathon. When in reality, I’ve never ran anything more than 3 miles (..and that was one time). I blame it on things like… nothing. I really don’t blame it on anything (it’s because I’m Italian?) I just love food and carby deliciousness. Chapter 5: So how’s it gonna go down?
Basically, I’m going to continue doing this: And eating like this: But, since you are supposed to be all specific when you set goals, here are the official deets. I set a specific goal of 140 lbs. That is 26 pounds from what I weighed last Sunday (166). I don’t have a specific date in mind. Just do it…? Yeah? Does that work okay? I know you are supposed to make milestones to keep you motivated (or at least it sounds like a good idea) so naturally, that first milestone will be 159, and then 149. I say milestone because that is when I will get excited. Basically, I know my problem spot is my eating – I just need to watch how much I’m shoving in my pie hole.
As a side note; though I do plan to share progress with you guys here and there, I dont want this blog to turn into a full blown weight loss blog (which there is nothing wrong with by the way, I like a lot of those), it’s just not really my style.
So you can expect most of the same around here, with some of that thrown in. Deal?