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The comparison trap…can you ever REALLY stop?

Posted Apr 04 2011 12:00am

This is a question I am always asking myself.  Will I ever stop staring at others while comparing myself to them?  Can I ever learn to accept myself completely and just be ambivalent to the fact that others may look ‘better’.  As women, we are pretty much programmed to feel like we have to be more…but, do we?

We all know that we have our own unique strengths and attributes that others may very well be envious of.  There are times you have heard someone say that they wished they were more like you; whether it be for a physical trait, a personality trait, your ambition or adventurous spirit, your kindness or generosity.  It is important to take those comments and remember them.  Accept that someone feels that way instead of disregarding the comment and replying with something negative about yourself (I do this way too often).  Being confident and self-assured does not have to be ‘vain’ or ‘conceited’ like others have you believe. Having a healthy sense of what makes you amazing, is one of the best ways to stop comparing…if you lack the self-confidence, fake it till you make it! 

Tell yourself everyday WHY you are gorgeous, strong and confident…even if it is hard to believe right now, DO IT!  Show that confidence, put it out there and let others see it.  The more you play the confidence role, the more you will FEEL the confidence (this is some self talk, too!  I plan on following these directions)! 

If we cannot approve of ourselves we will never accept someone else’s approval…does that make sense?  The best way for me to get over this is to workout with women I admire and respect, to write down my goals as I achieve them, and to really hear the compliments people give me!  So on that note how about a few shots of the TRX workout I enjoyed yesterday!  These ladies kept me going, and I kept them going!  We were all tired before we even began, it was hot and we were dragging….but we KEPT going! 

The ladies were busting it out super hard as well!  We were laughing here and there at how overly tired and worn out we were.  It felt like we were moving in slow motion, but it was great to know we had worked as hard as ever despite feeling exhausted!

It was a nice relief to hope in the car and head home to my awaiting oats parfait!  We enjoyed another lunch out (I did GREAT with Salmon and veggies) and then I spent some time at the park with my boys.  It was nice to just watch them play, and enjoy the sunshine!  At the end of the day I was feeling pretty good.  I was looking at my day and realized that even though I was beating myself up a bit about how tired I was during the workout, I still busted my butt and did not slack at all!  Feeling mom guilt about how tired I have been vanished when I got to just hang out, play and see that my presence on the playground was just as welcome as some crazy outing.  My worries about my belly….well that will have to wait until after my ‘procedure’ tomorrow (next post), but I know that no matter what I am going to take control of the situation and get this body on track :)   Sometimes, you just gotta smile and think of how many blessings you have…that is what keeps me on this journey!!

Just had to throw those photos in there to show a million reasons why I should be so happy and grateful for the life I have!!

What gives you confidence?  What reminds you of your best qualities when you are feeling low?  How were you able to stop the comparison trap?

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