For a while, I was telling people that I found the secret to “happiness”. I guess it’s time for me to share this insight with you. Hopefully, this will help you as much as it has helped me. And don’t get me wrong… these “truths” are not easy to practice. It seems that when I get these “insights”, I end up being tested with hardship and challenges. That’s when “practicing what you preach” really starts to hit home.
So here it is…
Lately, I’ve been asking myself about how to sustain happiness in its purest and uninfluenced nature. What can we focus on that will allow us to keep happiness without being dependent on any given situation? It was such a hard question to answer. So I asked it in a different way… Why do we get sad? More importantly, why do we get sad about ourselves and our abilities to succeed? Why do we doubt our capabilities to succeed in anything we want? In answering that question, I have found the solution to sustaining happiness!
I have found that we constantly compare and contrast everything. It makes things relative. When you say, “this room is small”, it is in reference to something else. Maybe you’re comparing it to the size of your living room, or your bedroom. Or “this is too expensive.” That is in reference to the same item that you might have seen online. In any case, we are always comparing to make things relative.
Now, we also do this with ourselves. We say, “I’m too fat”, or “I don’t get paid enough”, or “I’m not tall enough”, or “I’m not good enough”. When we say this, we are reference either our peers, other “models of success”, or even an ideal that we want to be. Now, when does this statement become depressing? Because the fact is that we use these types of feelings to motivate us to act?… Right?… Sometimes we don’t. There comes a point when these types of statements become “self-fulfilling” and we end up identifying with it. And because of this, we become depressed with what we see in the mirror everyday. Does this sound like anyone you know? If not, I can admit, I think this way from time to time.
So if this has become a problem, what’s the solution? The solution lies in the reference. What you compare yourself or your situation to will dictate what you see as “real”. If you compare yourself to your skinny peers and say that you are fat…or if you compare yourself to someone who is fat and you say that you are skinny, which is true? Well, they’re both true… relatively. Now what if you drop the comparison… what are you now?… You just are… There is no fat or skinny, tall or short, rich or poor. You are just a living being experiencing life. And with that said, there is room for only what you want to create in your life. Nothing else.
So sustaining personal happiness is about dropping the reference and just be. Take away the comparison and live the life according to how you want it. Because in dropping the comparison, you also drop the comparison of your past… more importantly, your past “failures”. Today is a clean slate. You have no more references of being a “failure” or being incapable of achieving happiness. Every moment is new. By letting go of the comparison, you have the power to create the future you want within this present moment.
So go now and drop the reference. Be who you want to be, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and financially!
Please comment on this! I would love to hear your feedback!
For a while, I was telling people that I found the secret to “happiness”. I guess it’s time for me to share this insight with you. Hopefully, this will help you as much as it has helped me. And don’t get me wrong… these “truths” are not easy to practice. It seems that when I get these “insights”, I end up being tested with hardship and challenges. That’s when “practicing what you preach” really starts to hit home.
So here it is…
Lately, I’ve been asking myself about how to sustain happiness in its purest and uninfluenced nature. What can we focus on that will allow us to keep happiness without being dependent on any given situation? It was such a hard question to answer. So I asked it in a different way… Why do we get sad? More importantly, why do we get sad about ourselves and our abilities to succeed? Why do we doubt our capabilities to succeed in anything we want? In answering that question, I have found the solution to sustaining happiness!
I have found that we constantly compare and contrast everything. It makes things relative. When you say, “this room is small”, it is in reference to something else. Maybe you’re comparing it to the size of your living room, or your bedroom. Or “this is too expensive.” That is in reference to the same item that you might have seen online. In any case, we are always comparing to make things relative.
Now, we also do this with ourselves. We say, “I’m too fat”, or “I don’t get paid enough”, or “I’m not tall enough”, or “I’m not good enough”. When we say this, we are reference either our peers, other “models of success”, or even an ideal that we want to be. Now, when does this statement become depressing? Because the fact is that we use these types of feelings to motivate us to act?… Right?… Sometimes we don’t. There comes a point when these types of statements become “self-fulfilling” and we end up identifying with it. And because of this, we become depressed with what we see in the mirror everyday. Does this sound like anyone you know? If not, I can admit, I think this way from time to time.
So if this has become a problem, what’s the solution? The solution lies in the reference. What you compare yourself or your situation to will dictate what you see as “real”. If you compare yourself to your skinny peers and say that you are fat…or if you compare yourself to someone who is fat and you say that you are skinny, which is true? Well, they’re both true… relatively. Now what if you drop the comparison… what are you now?… You just are… There is no fat or skinny, tall or short, rich or poor. You are just a living being experiencing life. And with that said, there is room for only what you want to create in your life. Nothing else.
So sustaining personal happiness is about dropping the reference and just be. Take away the comparison and live the life according to how you want it. Because in dropping the comparison, you also drop the comparison of your past… more importantly, your past “failures”. Today is a clean slate. You have no more references of being a “failure” or being incapable of achieving happiness. Every moment is new. By letting go of the comparison, you have the power to create the future you want within this present moment.
So go now and drop the reference. Be who you want to be, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and financially!
Please comment on this! I would love to hear your feedback!