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Stop Trying to Achieve Balance

Posted Apr 29 2013 12:44am


Last night, I attended and event hosted by the SITS Girls  and sponsored by Invisalign . The event itself was great and focused on the business of blogging. However, that’s not what I want to talk about today. There was one thing that Tiffany and Fran said about how to find balance in life that has been turning around in my mind since then:

Stop trying to achieve balance and start being present.

Work-Life balance myth

This makes perfect sense.

How many times have you said, “All I want is some balance,” or “I’m just trying to balance it all – work, life, family.” Balance is out there and we should be able to achieve it, right? That’s the goal that we strive for? The Work-Life Balance Holy Grail?

I think that the idea of life balance is a myth. I can be a perfect parent and good wife while having a successful career. I can also blog and keep the house clean. I can get by on 5-6 hours of sleep. But the thing is, when I try to do all of that, I pretty much suck at everything.

Last week, I was in back-to-back meetings all week. I wasn’t able to drop-off the kids at school or pick them up. I wasn’t around to cook dinner. I didn’t have time to read and comment on as many blogs as usual. When my son asked me to put down my phone, it hurt my heart. When I overhear my kids say, “Don’t bother Mommy. She’s on the computer,” I cringe a little.

letter from my kindergartner

I felt like I was failing because I believed that was capable to keeping all those different plates spinning in the air. I mean, I pride myself on being a good multi-tasker. But really? I think that it’s impossible to do it all, and I’m not sure if it’s fair for us - both women and men - to think that we can find a perfectly balanced life.

When you try to “balance,” something always has to give. You can’t give 100% when you’re trying to focus on something else at the same time. Or, thinking of it in terms of yoga, achieving balance in any one pose requires you to make subtle shifts and to counterbalance different body parts and muscle groups. It often feels like your body is working in opposition to itself.

Napping on the couch

Trying to be 100% present during this nap.


But when you are present, you are giving your full attention. When you are present, you are giving 100% to that one thing. It brings me back to posts that Laura from Mommy Run Fast  and Carla from MizFitOnline  wrote about the pressures women often face to be superwoman and how we should focus on our priorities – the people and the things that matter in our lives.

Presence is something that I struggle with but I’m working on it.


Do you have a hard time being present?


{Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored post. Just a post that was sparked from an incisive comment made during an event that I was invited to.}


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