Now that I’m four years into practicing mind-body connection skills on a daily basis, I thought I’d weather major life change and the stress that comes with it with ease. It turns out it’s not that easy. But using mind-body skills is definitely helping. I’d hate to think what I’d be feeling like this time without them.
A common thread I’m recognizing in my bodily constitution is that I’m a deep feeler in that I feel emotions in a very physical way which puts stress on my body and nervous system, even when I’m being very conscious of feeling my emotions. My current life change challenge involves adjusting to my youngest child having gone away to college, leaving an empty nest for my husband and me. You wouldn’t think that “empty nest” would be so emotionally challenging, but judging by how my body feels, it’s a profound life change. The most essential mind-body skills I’m using now is awareness of what I’m feeling and staying connected with my true self.
When the mind and body are disconnected I feel separate, alone and contracted. My mind judges me harshly and isn’t kind. I’m full of doubt and fear takes the lead. My body feels tense, painful or uncomfortable. I have thoughts that I’m not good enough, I don’t fit in, there’s not enough, or there’s something wrong with me. I’m reactive, not conscious of what I’m doing or how I’m reacting. I’m coming from my triggered self – lashing out at other people and desperately trying to fix it so I feel better. Ideally, when I feel like this, I recognize it and turn towards feeling my emotions while I delay taking action until after the emotions subside and I can reconnect with my true self.
When I’m connected with my true self, I have an inner focus noticing what I’m feeling physically and emotionally in the moment, letting go of resistance to it, and finding a calm and steady place in my body in the midst of discomfort. This calm and steady place is connected with my empowered, grounded, adult, highest, empowered, all- knowing self. One of the keys to being able to be with and allow emotional flow is to do it from a conscious, watchful and supportive space. I know I’m in that space when I feel calm, kind, love, curiosity, compassion and connection.
1. Close your eyes and have an inner body focus. Let go of focusing on your thinking and drop your awareness into the center of your body. Follow the movement of your breath with your awareness. Feel into the core of your body. Feel the heaviness of your body and its connection to the earth. Find a place of stillness or calm in your body and focus there.
2. Imagine your wise, adult, confident, empowered, complete self with you in this moment. It’s the larger you with all of its infinite wisdom and broad perspective. Breathe into this energy which is whole, kind, connected, curious, compassionate and loving.
3. From this grounded and centered space, sense what you know for sure.
When I tap into my true self I feel loved, supported, empowered, and reassured. I can relax back into that greater energy which is holding me. I feel openhearted, deeply connected, and aligned with who I really am. My physical body feels more at ease and relaxed. I can let go of my struggles, just be in the moment, accept what is present, and be okay with it. It reconnects me with what I know for sure deep in my heart and soul and gives me the courage to trust it and have faith in my future.
What I know for sure is that the grief accompanying my empty nest has left me tired and depleted. It’s a time to slow down, rest and allow my body and soul to recover and adjust to this profound change. The way to rejuvenation is to stay in my true self as much as possible while making space for feeling what’s present. I’m reaching out for support when I need it. I bring loving kindness to the way I’m moving through this change. This is Square 1 of Martha Beck’s change cycle where the mantra is “I don’t know what the hell is going on and that’s okay.” When I’m okay with this profound change, I stay centered in my true self and move from here. Oh, and I’m making more room for fun and play too!
Endorsed Coach – Gail Kenny
When I found Abigail I had been struggling with chronic pelvic pain (including pain in my lower abdomen, IC symptoms, yeast infections and myofascial pain) for over 20 years. Mind-body coaching was the last thing I needed to truly get my life back. I know first-hand the challenges of healing chronic pelvic pain and I’m well prepared to help you with your healing. I’m also a certified Martha Beck life coach and trained psychic.
I work with people in physical pain who have already tried all the normal solutions. I help them heal old dysfunctional habits of thinking and feeling. I teach them to relate to their body, emotions, mind, and soul in new ways, creating relief from underlying tension, healing pain from the inside out and getting back to living the life they want. Start with your free pain relief practice here .