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"Slim Ice"- Not an April Fool's Joke

Posted Mar 04 2010 5:00pm
While pottering around at home yesterday morning I decided to turn on the TV.  Mistake. 

While sipping my cup of tea I was confronted with a morning show advertorial for a product that surely must be the most ridiculous waste of anyone's time and money that has ever come from the dieting/weight loss/body shaming camp.  I genuinely feel like I can say "I've seen it all now."  Before going any further I do wish to qualify this is NOT an April Fool's Day joke.  When you read on you will understand why I make the clarification.  It all unfolded something like this...

- Female segment presenter gushing about how we all want to have "skinny days" but some days, the dreaded "fat days" just creep up on us.  Ok. Whatever.

- Cue over enthusiastic salesman spruiking a cure to these fat days with a product called "Slim Ice."  Gratutious images of plus sized model trying to huff and puff her way into a too small pair of jeans flash about.

- Salesman tells us with "Slim Ice" he can get that model into those jeans with such vehemence that he gives the impression this is the most important product I will ever own and it's likely to make me a coffee and cure cancer at the same time.

- We finally learn what the "ice" does as model squeezes a gel like goo out of a tube and lathers it all over her stomach.  She then grabs another bottle and sprays herself with a "firming lotion" that will supposedly tighten her stomach and reduce her down a whole size!  OMG.  Where has this goo been all our lives?

- Success!  Model buttons up her jeans with ease and smiles beautifully into the camera while the salesman and TV presenter gush about how amazing the goo is.  OK. Whatever.

- Final wrap up is that it can be yours for the bargain basement price of $69.95 plus a tenner for P&H.

I mean, just wow.  How products like this which, to my mind, are a total waste of time and money even exist, I have no idea.  They actually only exist for one reason - and that is to shame me and you, and indeed us all, no matter what our size, into thinking our bodies are unacceptable as they are and we have to change them, not just to fit into certain clothes, but to be ok.  It's wrong and exploitative to the extreme, especially with products like this which are just ludicrous.  Can you imagine what a gel and spray combo like that might do to your clothes?  How it may impact on your skin?  Not to mention the fact it is likely to be chiefly water based and of course any tightening effects be extremely temporary.

Well, the only ice I'll be buying is for my fresh lime and mineral water addiction.  I hope the same goes for you too.  No matter what your shape or size, if you're not fully ok with your body, please know that you will not find the answer to positive body image, body love, body peace or body anything within this tube of goo.  In fact, you'll never find it in a tube of anything - no matter what some salesman tries to tell you.  Spend the $69.95 on a couple of great positive self or body image books - or - buy a new pair of jeans.  Having clothes in our wardrobe that actually FIT us is a damn fine start to having greater body confidence.
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