Near the end of my stay at Green Mountain at Fox Run, we took some time to do some mindful meditation in the form of journaling. I’d like to share some of the things I wrote. It is just stream of conciousness writing, so it may not flow perfectly or be free of grammatical errors. It is just my thoughts in that moment.
What I want to remember not to forget about my time at Green Mountain…
I have had a great experience this week at Green Mountain. What I want to remember most is how I have felt this week. I have felt alive, cared for and okay about myself.
This week I got up early every morning and started my day with exercise. I was not too exhausted to make it through the day. In fact, I have become more energized and felt better than when I sleep late and lounge around. I am doing something that is good for my body and that raises my spirits. I have eaten mindfully this week and fed my body nourishing foods that taste good. I have not stuffed myself or binged. I have a strange fear of being hungry, but my appetite has not raged out of control and I have not gone hungry. I feel satisfied.
I have met women who listen when I talk and understand my struggles with food and weight. I have been accepted for who I am, faults and all. With this group of women, I have felt like I am not alone and I am not the only one that sometimes feels lost, scared and insecure.
This week I was reminded of the importance of finding joy in my life and including activities and hobbies that I like, rather than just those that are necessary. I don’t know what will bring me that joy just yet, but I want to find out. Taking care of myself is about making a decision that is best at the time, what I REALLY want (not what is easiest) and aligns with my beliefs and goals.
Several of the staff members here have overcome struggles with food, exercise and weight. Did you get that? Overcome. Normal eating is possible for me. I am not destined to struggle every single day. I need to nurture myself and my body rather than tear it down. I don’t need to be perfect. My diet and exercise routine does not have to be perfect.
Finally, I want to remember how good it feels to focus on the positive rather than the negative — reminding myself that what we focus on creates our reality. I can experiement with possibilities rather than trying and failing. Counting blessings, noticing moments of joy and celebrating small successes can lead to learned optimism. Repeating a mantra 300 times will create new neuro-pathways in the brain. Change IS possible.