Tomorrow is 4 years since I asked my ex-husband to leave. For four years, I have been a single parent. When I think back and imagine that my children were 4 and 1 at the time... and I had no job and a huge, impossible mortgage... I wonder, "What in the hell was I thinking?!"
God apparently had other plans for me...
Speaking of plans, one of the regrets of my failed marriage was that I always wanted to have a third child. Now, it is 4 years later, I'm 40 and I'm thinking, "Yep. That's it. I'm done."
Did you hear that? Yep, baby-factory doors are closed.
The only problem is: that's easier said than done.
I may be 40 and thinking I don't want to have another baby but my body is still able to produce an egg. And Rascal is still makin' sperm. So....
The past few weeks, I've been in heavy discussions with my ob/gyn about birth control. I've had the Mirena IUD since Grace was born. I haven't had a single problem with it. As a matter of fact, I love it and wish I could keep it until I reach menopause!
(For the record, Rascal and I both were tested for STD's before we began having condom-less sex. I think its very important for health reasons. And it also helped build a LOT of trust between us.)
Unfortunately, the Mirena runs its course after 5 years. Now that it is time for a replacement, Merck has decided to increase the price of the Mirena and my insurance will not cover it. Therefore my options are to go back to pills, patches, rings and such (no thank you), get the copper Paragard IUD or get the Essure permanent birth control. Paragard lasts for 10 years and is non-hormonal. I'm considering it over the Essure even though I've heard that it takes some getting used to.
Rascal has also been toying with the idea of a vasectomy. However, either way, I would still like to have my own birth control options covered.
I guess I'm a little nervous because of a trend I've noticed lately.
I have known 3 different single mothers in the past year who have re-married, moved-in or are planning weddings with their new love, and have become pregnant.
My friend Tisha had her baby boy last week. She found that she was pregnant within a few months of marrying her second husband. Martini Mom 's long distance love finally moved in with her. Soon, she found that she too was with child. (I also love the way she explained it to her child.)
PT-Law Mom is planning a wedding with her fiancee, Mr V. Now she has to sell her dress and possibly change the wedding date because of a surprise pregnancy.
Is it in the water? Yikes.
What about any of you? Are you finished having children? Have you considered that your birth control could fail as it did in the above scenarios?
Even though my daughters have begged me for another baby, I'm going to have to do what I can to prevent it. Between Rascal and I, we already have 4 children.
Then again, (EEK!) who knows what life has in store for us anyway? Anything could happen (or not).
If you ever want to make God laugh, tell him your plans...