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Perfect Isn’t Real

Posted Oct 30 2012 5:00am

I feel like I’m at that point in my life where comparing yourself to other people starts to become a big thing. I’m almost at my ten year reunion (seriously – how did that happen?) and all of a sudden everything is all about who’s working where, who’s married, who has kids, who still lives at home, who went crazy, and so on and so forth. It’s a weird competition, and I want no part of it.

First of all, I don’t really care where anyone is after high school, the people I lost contact with, I lost contact with for a reason. If they’re doing well that’s excellent, but it doesn’t really mean anything to me.

Second, I just don’t see the point in comparing yourself to other people. Someone else may have gotten everything I’ve ever wanted, but I would never, ever give up my life to have theirs. Someone’s life may look perfect on the outside, but the thing is, perfect isn’t real.

I am fully aware that I’m a deeply flawed human being, and because of that, not everyone likes me. I get it, and I’m ok with it. I have random outbursts about nothing, I’ve been through so much crap that sometimes I can’t separate past from present, I share inappropriate stories with waitresses at bars, I talk to strangers, I swear like it’s my job, basically I’m a mess. But here’s the thing about that, it’s ok not to be perfect. Perfect people are boring.

I have issues, and I come with a lot of baggage. I also have no money, am horrible at keeping my house clean, and can’t say for sure the last time I washed my kitchen floor. I have no idea how to style my hair, or dress myself for that matter. I don’t know the difference between a verb and a noun (seriously), I can’t read roman numerals, I can’t draw. I’m 27, back in school, and nowhere near ready to get married and have kids. There are a hundred ways I could improve myself, and even more ways that other people are better off than me.

Actually, everyone is probably better off than me.

But so what?

Does it matter if someone else has a “perfect” relationship, or the shoes I want, or a better job?

No. It doesn’t.

None of that changes my situation.

Everyone has their own baggage, some people hide it better than others, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just because the image they portray looks like perfection, doesn’t mean that it is.

That girl with the perfect boyfriend and fancy house – well maybe her boyfriend doesn’t make her laugh. Maybe his mom hates her, maybe he’s got a gambling problem. Or maybe he really is all the great things she says he is, and you know what? That’s wonderful. Good for her. She’s happy. It doesn’t change anything for me. He’s her person, not mine, and its great for her that she found him.

That girl that always has the designer shoes – maybe she’s thousands of dollars in debt. Or maybe not too. Maybe she’s saved her whole life so that now she can buy the things she wants. That’s awesome, good for her. Why can’t we all just be happy for her instead of being jealous? If you want to blow your money on shoes, go ahead and do it. I’ll stick with Payless.

And the girl with the amazing job? She probably worked hard for it. If she didn’t, well then she’s lucky and that’s ok too. It’s her life, and she is allowed to live it however she pleases.

We all need to live our own lives and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing. Their lives are their own, and come with their own set of problems. My problems can suck sometimes, but if I had the choice between my problems and someone else’s, I’d pick my own every time.

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