I’ll do a recap of 2013 later, a very powerful and growing year for me.
I need to talk about a few things that have been bothering me a bit.
Remember when these donkeys wrote about #fatshamingweek for women? The idea that harsh ridicule and public shaming to overweight WOMEN (not men) will help them lose weight and become hotties for their own good AND for the benefit of men to enjoy? I started to write a post about it, but decided against it. This topic was beat to death by angry women and internet trolls everywhere. As an overweight girl AND someone who has been publicly fat shamed countless times, I just have to say something about it really quick. Calling a woman fat is different than calling a man fat. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it still hurts. Women have been “trained” to be judged on their aesthetics. It’s why beauty/cosmetics is a billion dollar industry. And no one judges women harder than other women… But this particular social media trend irked me. That calling someone fat, disgusting, unlovable, updateable etc., will make them change with a harsh dose of reality. Hey, guess what? There isn’t a fat person out there that doesn’t know they’re fat. It’s really not anyone else’s job force them into a healthy lifestyle and weight loss. Calling a fat person fat for one, makes you look like an insecure dick. Two, pointing out the obvious is unnecessary. Three, it will not… I repeat…will not make them lose weight/be healthy. No one wants to change solely based on that one website talking about how disgusting fat girls are. People who want to change and change successfully have discovered the benefits of dropping bad habits on their own terms.
But Being Fat is Bad for the Economy
Ok, shut up.
Not completely true. This argument makes me crazy. Being overweight DOES lead to more health complications which eat into healthcare costs “for everyone”. Diabetes, pills, heart problems and even lead to people being unable to work and put on SSDI. But you know what is REALLY bad for the economy for health issues? Stress and Mental Illness (associated with stress). An obese person can cost up to $5400 for employers to insure. Stress related illnesses costs companies over $7200 per year! Obesity is 20% of healthcare expenditures, while stress related costs are over 50% in America . You know what stresses people out the most? Being a dick. Worrying about other people’s issues like how fat THEY are. Anger issues. Control issues. Rage. Being caught up in an environment that isn’t good for you. FAT SHAMING.
Someone else being fat (or skinny) is really none of your f***ing business. It doesn’t raise your rent or prevent you from paying bills. It doesn’t prevent you from getting laid or finding a suitable life partner. It doesn’t prevent your kid from getting into college. It does not give you the right to disrespect different bodies, to their face, behind their backs or behind a keyboard. Relax.
Now, life’s daily annoyances about someone else being bigger are understandable. As a public transit person, when someone is taking up more than one seat it totally annoys me. But so does when a smaller person takes up more than on seat with 100 bags. Airplanes suck too. But it’s just that, an annoyance for you. Suck it up buttercup! Sorry you paid $500 for your plane ticket and you’re squished. I’ve been there, I get it. So what. Especially living in a city, where people are around you at all times. You are not going to like everything people are saying, look like or doing. Get some thicker skin and realize you need to live your life around other people, forever and ever amen. Sure, get annoyed, get pissed off, think stupid thoughts in your head. But you still don’t have a moral obligation to right every person who has “wronged” you by an annoyance. Grow up.
Another key point those dicks over at the website were trying to get across, is the body acceptance. Or “giving up and accepting it”. Teasing overweight women that it doesn’t matter how many Marilyn Monroe quote you use you’re never going to be attractive. Well, no. Probably not to THEM. Body acceptance is by no means to FORCE guys to like bigger women. Body love and body image is NOT FOR YOOOOOOU. NOT FOR GUYS (or GIRLS)! Stop being so egocentric, my GOD. You like what you like, no one is going to change that for you. If you like beards and tattoos, you’re not going to wake up one day and find them repulsive. No woman who loves herself is trying to convert you. Trust. Healthy body image is the acceptance to FINALLY let you love yourself. Tall, short, skinny, fat. It’s the approval you give yourself to let you be confident. Any insecure person finds confidence to be a threat. There will be haters. EVERYWHERE. You gotta be strong.
Now, the important message I want to convey:
Like a lot of people, I do not have sympathy for those who choose to live a life that is unhealthy for them and complain about it. Whatever it may be: Excessive drinking, being overweight, smoking, bad relationships etc. Watching someone who acknowledges what they’re doing is bad for them, refuses to change and STILL wants to complain about it? Not interested. I don’t want to hear about it.
I will however, listen to anyone who is making positive changes and is just having a really hard time. That is literally what my entire blog is about. Quitting smoking is HARD and it sucks! Trying to change your diet and working out every day suuuucks. But you’re trying! You’re doing it. I’m here for you.
New Year’s Resolution Shaming
There has been an interesting amount of backlash about people who have New Year’s Resolutions pertaining to healthy living. Haters. Haters everywhere. Gym rats (hi!) who are pissed off at the swarm of Resolution people going to the gym and everything being so crowded. Yes, this painfully annoying too. But guess what; take this time to try something NEW. I know I’m not gonna get a treadmill at the tiny gym I’m at now. So, I’d like to go back to CrossFit and taekwondo. There was a huge rush before the new year as well, I could never get into my gym so I decided to try hot yoga again, and I LOVE IT. Safe to say I am addicted. Rather than being pissed off and just not going to the gym or being pissed off about it, I just found something new for a while. Or maybe focus your energy on learning to cook healthier meals. There is time and space for EVERYONE to change. I know you love lifting things and riding that elliptical to the moon, but use this opportunity to try something new for yourself.
Yes, the cliché is true, a lot of people will give up by March and you’ll have your gym back. Or you can just muscle your way through the crowds and suck it up.
BUT DON’T BE MAD FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CHANGE. You were there once, remember? Shit on people for being fat and unhealthy, and then shit on people when they finally want to change and show up to do the job. Stop. Cut it out you big babies.
‘I hate when people use New Years as the time to start being healthy. You’re not serious about it, otherwise you would’ve started ages ago!’
So EFF all those haters giving you a hard time for who you are, who you want to be and what you’re not.
Change isn’t about letting yourself deserve a better you. I’m sorry, but the truth is a lot of people don’t want you to change. They’re comfortable in whatever role they’ve put you in for their life. If you’re the chubby funny friend, it’s going to be hard to them to accept you as the fit marathon runner. If you’re their partying friend who loves to get wastey-pants, they aren’t going to like that you’re not going out as much.
THIS is the hardest part about changing. Not only is it REALLY hard to get started, even harder to stick with it, but most of the time, even your family and closest friends…don’t want you to change. Because it means they have to, also.
Be strong. Be Brave. And get your ass to the finish line.