NEW POST: How to Meet More Like-Minded Soul Sisters: Part II
Posted Sep 13 2013 6:42pm
What you ask for you shall receive, my lovely ladies and gets. Kendalyn is back today with some kick-ass action steps you can take into your life as you are in-transition to finding more like-minded soul sisters. So many of you have asked about this and I’m so grateful Kendalyn is here to help. Read on. These tips will change your life! Even if you’re not in-transition, all of this advice is so spot-on for our every day musings.
Hi again! I’m back today for round two of talking about connecting with like-minded soul sisters (and brothers, for that matter). In this post I’ll give you some suggestions for action steps to connect with others like you (and me!). This isn’t to say you need to throw all of your friendships or relationships out the window, but if you are craving more or a deeper connection with others feel free to use whatever guidance below suits you at this time to help you to achieve these relationships.
Also, just remember that even if some relationships have fizzled out at this time in your life it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been permanently dissolved. Divine timing is always on your side and those relationships may rekindle when the time is right. This was a huge lesson for me because I was getting caught up in the pain I was feeling thinking about friends I was no longer connecting with regularly. I’m grateful to have a strong support system who reminded me that relationships ebb and flow just as most things in life do. So don’t let being sad or upset deter you from putting yourself out there or from enjoying the present because we all deserve to be happy!
1. Get out of your own way
For me, one of the biggest challenges of letting new people in was that my ego was screaming that I wasn’t good enough to be friends with these people I was being drawn to. That is total BS! For example, my ego would say to me “What makes you think these people would want to be friends with you? What’s so great about you anyway?” I had to figure out a way to quiet this voice in order to take any further steps into bringing new relationships into my life. Your ego (the fear-based side of you) will say anything to keep you safe in your bubble, which will ultimately keep you as isolated as Harry Potter hiding in the cupboard under the stairs. Without reaching out to others it’s not likely you’ll begin making any new friends, so hop on that platform and take the train to Hogwarts already! (Yeah… this girl is a Harry P. buff. #sorrynotsorry) In all seriousness though, don’t let the fear of rejection creep in because close to 100% of the time it’s wrong. Tell your ego to pipe down and remember that you deserve to have loving relationships because you ARE love!
If you are finding that you’re getting in your own way, find an activity that quiets your mind. For some, this may be meditation, yoga, running, swimming, whatever it is that gets you to this quiet headspace. For me, being by the water totally zens me out, so when I’m stressed out or frustrated about a situation or just need my ego to shut up so I can breathe this is where I head so I can sit my butt on the sand and soak in the healing energy of the ocean. Pick an activity that’s right for you if you’re struggling with fear-based thinking so that you can reap the benefit of quieting the mind and taking a moment to remind yourself that you are enough, you are worth it, and you are loved. If it resonates with you, ask your guides and/or angels to help you and guide you to finding the relationships you want to bring into your life. They are always there to listen and are more than happy to assist!
2. Stop putting others on a pedestal
We are all on our own journeys. Don’t think that because one person seems more spiritually evolved than you that they’re too good to be friends with you (more fear-based thinking, and they’re likely not thinking this themselves). We are here to teach each other and to act as a support system. Those more spiritually evolved are sure to have more work to do on themselves so don’t make them any more special than you think of yourself. Also, they may not have their shit together as much as it seems on the outside – appearances can be deceiving and you never know until you get to know someone! Everyone is continuously learning and students are always teaching teachers just as teachers are teaching students, this is how we evolve as spiritual beings. Each and every one of us has something to bring to the table and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend!
Sidenote: I totally used to put Heather on a pedestal before we became really close friends and now we just look back on it and laugh. She thought I was crazy because she didn’t view herself in the same way I was seeing her, and I realized I was totally ego-tripping and idolizing her, and I let it stand in the way of me getting to know her even sooner.
3. Like attracts like
You are going to attract people who you want around just by BEING the person you want to be around. Be comfortable with yourself and be proud of how far you have come on your journey. You will exude the positive energy you want to attract and people will totally pick up on that (even if they don’t realize that’s why they’re drawn to you).
4. Put the intention out there
While you’re meditating, praying, whatever it is that you do to help you manifest your desires, put the intention into the Universe that you want to attract more people on the same page as you so that you can continue to grow and have others to share the journey with. Who knows, this may even lead you to get to get to know people better who you’re already acquainted with, you may have just never thought of them as having long-term/close friend potential before. The Universe is always working with you to help you attain what you need to be at your highest and best, you just have to put the intention out there so that it can do so! Remember, we always have free will, so if you’re not putting it out there that you’re ready it’ll take a heck of a lot longer to manifest. Conversely, if the Universe knows you’re ready and you’re just not putting the effort it or taking action steps, you might get hit by a cosmic 2.x4 – so watch out!
5. Put yourself out there
If you don’t currently know anyone that you’d like to get to know better, then find some groups or individuals with similar interests as you. This could be an exercise class, a spiritual group, a cooking class, an art class, being in the great outdoors… the possibilities are boundless! Don’t limit yourself with what types of groups you look for, you can find like-minded, spiritual individuals everywhere (not just in downward dog). When you’re doing the activities that make you happy and are in a state of pure joy you will attract others on a similar wavelength.
One great resource I’ve found for this is Meetup.com. You can find virtually any type of group on there and the few experiences I’ve had with it so far have been super fun! And if you’re shy, like me, sometimes you just have to suck it up and get outside of your comfort zone. Change is uncomfortable and putting yourself out there is a risk, but it is SO worth it when you start forming new and meaningful relationships.
Another great tool for ideas of ways to connect with people is Rachel Bertsche’s book, “MWF seeking BFF” (http://www.amazon.com/MWF-Seeking-BFF-Yearlong-Search/dp/0345524942). She is a hilarious writer with lots of good tips about making new friends. I read her book a little over a year ago when I was in that weird stage after college where a majority of my friends moved away and I was left in RI with only a few people I could call up and hang out with at the spur of the moment. The book was such a funny and insightful read and made me feel better because I knew I wasn’t alone in the quest for friendship. She talks about the difficulties she had making new friends after moving to a new city and the types of activities she participated in to try and meet new people, including friend dating, book clubs, etc. At the end of her book she shares a lengthy list of sites and suggestions, and she also keeps a blog at http://mwfseekingbff.com/.
6. Have fun with it!
Just remember to enjoy the journey. It’s always nerve wracking approaching new people and you won’t necessarily have a strong connection with everyone you meet, but you can still have fun along the way.
Do you have any strategies for putting yourself out there? What suggestions do YOU have for others to find more like-minded individuals to spend time with? I’d love to hear them!