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Morgan's Guide To Fixing A Stye

Posted Apr 27 2010 12:00am

Disclaimer:  there are no photos of an actual stye in this post.

Note:  the plural of stye is sties.

  • Spend your whole anniversary weekend whining that your eye hurts.
  • Ignore your very caring boyfriend when he tries to diagnose it.  Instead yell “oweeee owe owwwwwwe”.
  • Do not wear makeup to work, scare small children.
  • Host a diagnosis session at the lunch table.
  • Meet Brad at the gym and tell him “I have a stye”.  Listen to him say “I told you so, why don’t you ever listen to anything I say?”
  • Go to the pharmacist to get this Polysporin.
  • Read pamphlet, especially the section called WHAT ARE THE COMMON SYMPTOMS OF A STYE?  Don’t vomit.
  • Do not listen to the information where it says that you should use the tube to squirt the ointment onto the eye itself.  That’s gross dude, use a q-tip.

  • Squeeze the tube very gently so that not too much comes out.

  • When too much comes out, take a token sample jar that you keep lying around the house for mishaps just like this.  Put the extra in the jar.  Don’t waste any, this tube was $11.
  • Now apply ointment.
  • Spend all evening listening to Brad tell you “once I had a stye for over a year”.  (And he calls me dramatic?)

(Okay here’s a few real tips) . . .

  • Throw out any cream or liquid products that you use on your eye area, they may also be infected.

  • Wash your makeup brushes with disinfecting brush cleanser.

Well now that the medical part of this post is all cleared up, let’s share my dinner.  I’ve continued with the classy theme of the weekend – leftovers.  Yeah it’s still that “chili”.

I threw it on top of some green beans and broccoli, added feta cheese, and then bread crumbs.  It was an attempt at a casserole.  Let me tell you  - IT SUCKED!

I powered through as much of this thing as I could.  Luckily I had a side of veggie burger.  Enter millet bread, cheese, and wine.

Brad told me that he’d eat the rest of the weird casserole if I promised to not make chili again for quite a few months.

Are you a leftovers person?  Do you hate throwing out food?

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