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Mommy Moment---To Stay Home Or Work

Posted Mar 07 2013 11:16am

There is a highly emotional debate that's been raging since probably the start of motherhood itself.  It is the question of staying home or continuing to work while raising your family.  For some there is absolutely no choice of what they want or need to do.  Maybe financially it doesn't make sense to work after paying for daycare.  Maybe they have to work to make ends meet.  There are lots of people out  there working just to have health insurance benefits.

Perhaps you have children who's needs require you to stay home or require you to work to pay for services they need. Maybe you are a really together gal who can stick to a budget and don't mind scaling back to keep your family's finances in great shape. You find lots of creative and free things to do in your area.  Or maybe your family loves to go on vacations and outings together so it makes sense for you to work for the things you enjoy so much. 

I'm a stay at home mom who was never super great at budgeting and making decisions about what my family could do without to save a few bucks.  I'm so envious of those ladies who have it all together. You know, the ones who shower regularly, wear cute outfits, (that aren't sweatpants) wear make up and have a hairstyle.  Not too mention all the errands done, clean house, dinner on the table and ready to cheer the kids on at soccer and gymnastics.
As a working mom-turned-grandma, I must say this applies to mom's who happen to work outside the home too!!!
I am beginning to feel like all the missed showers, sweatpants and days spent talking to no one but my kids and dogs have put me in a funk.  Don't get me wrong I loved taking my kids to playgroups, the park and the library.  I love that they can call me from school if they need me and I'm here. But I feel like after years of not making myself important I've sort of lost myself.  I find it hard to decide what I like and don't like and often feel like putting an intelligent sentence together is difficult. 

I worked full time until my first child was born, I was lucky that while on maternity leave a part time job opened up in my office so I took it.  My father in law had just retired and agreed to watch my daughter, since we didn't have to pay for daycare it evened out.  We were looking for a house during this time and weren't sure how we would afford it if I stayed home.  Then when my second child was born we knew I would have to stay home.  There was no way my father in law could watch both kids, and we really didn't have any other family that could help out. 

This turned out to be a good decision because shortly after I left everyone in my department was let go.  Also my kids were sick so much I probably wouldn't have had a job for long anyway.  This way I could stay up with them at night and my husband could get rest for work.

So funny how when I was at work I couldn't stop thinking about being home.  Then when I was at home I always had things I needed to do at work on my mind.  But working even part time I felt more together, useful, and organized than I do now.

Working moms This is a tough one ladies, I've been on both sides of this debate.  I think there is much benefit on either side.  There is a lot of influence out there telling you, you need to stay home to be a good mother, or telling you that working and providing for your family is best.  I know some moms who work part time jobs just for their sanity, to get out of the house for a little while.

Knowing everything I know now I would have done so much differently.  I probably would have looked for a part time job that would have allowed me to work around my husband's schedule, that way if the kids were sick one of us would have been home for them.  Also Summers would have been covered too. 

If you are faced with this decision, do not let anyone make you feel guilty or like you are doing something wrong, no matter what you choose.  This is one of those situations where when you look back it is possible that you will never regret what you decided or maybe you will, LOL! What I'm trying to say is there is really no right or wrong here, you just need to do what is comfortable for you. 

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