I planned on doing my long run this morning but only ended up running 3 miles. I was feeling really fatigued this morning and I didn’t want to push it, I have a tendency to get shin splints (most painful thing ever!) and didn’t want sloppy running to cause me to injure myself.
The past few days I have been in a kind of funk. I have a lot going on between working full time at the lawyers office, working part time waitressing, going to school to finish my Bachelors degree, starting a mentorship to become a spin instructor, trying to loose the weight I gained the past few years from unhealthy eating, and balancing everything else in my life.
I’m not getting the sound sleep I usually do, I mean I don’t wake up in the middle of the night and if I do I go right back to sleep but I’m waking up not feeling as rested as I should, kind of cloudy.
I’ve had a few days last week where I eat amazing- clean, healthy, every 3 hours, and then right before bed I get ravenous and start eating. I’ll have cereal, granola bars, peanut butter, or anything that’s in my cabinets that meets my eye. Sometimes I even do it after Jarod’s gone to bed so he doesn’t see me.
I get really down after I do this- binge, it’s the oddest thing because I know I’m getting enough calories throughout the day but for some reason I convince myself its ok because I’ve been working out. But that’s exactly how I got in my weight woe position in the first place.
exercise + clean eating= happy healthy weight
exercise+unhealthy eating= not happy not so great weight
I’ve been getting super annoyed by the littlest things.
Sometimes I feel stressed
or I feel anxious
These are not characteristics that I would describe myself as, so when I start to feel these emotions it throws me off completely- where are they coming from and why!?
I guess its time to sit down and re-evaluate things, prioritize, schedule and continue with my lists, visualize my goals, and remember what’s important to me.
Sometimes I get frustrated, why does it have to be so hard. Why can’t we all just be happy all the time, not have to work to live, and enjoy all our time the way we want to?
This is such a dower post but it’s how I’m feeling today, the cloudy weather and non-existent spring hasn’t been helping either.
I’ll snap out of this mood and I’ll continue to smile too but I’m trying not to disregard these feelings when they arise.