Married to an Alcoholic?…6 Quick Tips To Get Them Sober
Posted Sep 22 2008 10:32am
by Ed Philips
Are you married to an alcoholic? Is your husband/wife a different person when they drink? Are you tired of the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde Behavior? Are you at your wits end and just can’t take it anymore? What can you do?Stop trying to get your husband/wife to stop drinking.
The nagging style just won’t achieve anything except getting yourself emotionally stressed out, whereby defeating the object of actually being able to help somebody who means such much in your life. You can’t get through to an alcoholic with verbal strength as it will just make the situation worse. You need to take the gentle and loving approach in order to win over the alcoholic and make some significant ground.
Always keep one thing very clear in your mind that you are trying to help out the person you fell in love with and not that alcoholic you see now. When they have had a few drinks and feeling a bit provocative, make sure you don’t fall into the trap and just ignore them. You must keep this up to the point that they know that they can’t win any longer and hopefully realise themselves that something is up.
Above all, never allow the alcoholic to trespass against your spirit when they are playing one of their mind games. Walk away and close the door behind you. Go visit a friend, take a walk around the block, or put some ear plugs in your ears. Your mental health is what helps the alcoholic the most. This is what detaching with love is all about. Detaching yourself from the disease is what helps the alcoholic see that he needs help.
It is a very sad fact that the person on the receiving end is as mentally and emotionally ill as the alcoholic himself. This is why the innocent party must set their own limits for what they are going to take from their partner while they are drunk.
Whatever you do, dont allow them to see that their behaviour is affecting you as their whole ploy is to irritate you, so make sure you don’t give them that satisfaction. When they do get into a state turn your back on them and try and see right through them to the person you used to know and love.
Now comes a long list of DON’TS so you don’t encourage their behaviour. Don’t assist them to bed. Don’t allow them to drive while under the influence. Don’t allow them to argue with you while drunk. Ignore them and Don’t be forced into anything. Don’t supply them with any booze even if they get down onto their hands and knees. Under no circumstances Don’t treat them with understanding and certainly do not pay them any extra attention.
When the alcoholic in your life is sober, give them extra special attention. Tell them how much you love them, but not the disease. Talk to them about your new boundaries when they are sober. Write them on the refrigerator so they can’t say they forgot. Basically let them know all the bad and awful things they do to you and the rest of the family while they are drinking. They need to know.
This is very important when you are living with an alcoholic and this is how you heal yourself from the abuses of the alcoholic. You are not alone and there are some many stories to be found of other peoples experiences at the blog on stopdrinkingadvice.org and you will soon realise that things can change and life can get better.
Are you married to an alcoholic? Is your husband/wife a different person when they drink? Are you tired of the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde Behavior? Are you at your wits end and just can’t take it anymore? What can you do?Stop trying to get your husband/wife to stop drinking.
The nagging style just won’t achieve anything except getting yourself emotionally stressed out, whereby defeating the object of actually being able to help somebody who means such much in your life. You can’t get through to an alcoholic with verbal strength as it will just make the situation worse. You need to take the gentle and loving approach in order to win over the alcoholic and make some significant ground.
Always keep one thing very clear in your mind that you are trying to help out the person you fell in love with and not that alcoholic you see now. When they have had a few drinks and feeling a bit provocative, make sure you don’t fall into the trap and just ignore them. You must keep this up to the point that they know that they can’t win any longer and hopefully realise themselves that something is up.
Above all, never allow the alcoholic to trespass against your spirit when they are playing one of their mind games. Walk away and close the door behind you. Go visit a friend, take a walk around the block, or put some ear plugs in your ears. Your mental health is what helps the alcoholic the most. This is what detaching with love is all about. Detaching yourself from the disease is what helps the alcoholic see that he needs help.
It is a very sad fact that the person on the receiving end is as mentally and emotionally ill as the alcoholic himself. This is why the innocent party must set their own limits for what they are going to take from their partner while they are drunk.
Whatever you do, dont allow them to see that their behaviour is affecting you as their whole ploy is to irritate you, so make sure you don’t give them that satisfaction. When they do get into a state turn your back on them and try and see right through them to the person you used to know and love.
Now comes a long list of DON’TS so you don’t encourage their behaviour. Don’t assist them to bed. Don’t allow them to drive while under the influence. Don’t allow them to argue with you while drunk. Ignore them and Don’t be forced into anything. Don’t supply them with any booze even if they get down onto their hands and knees. Under no circumstances Don’t treat them with understanding and certainly do not pay them any extra attention.
When the alcoholic in your life is sober, give them extra special attention. Tell them how much you love them, but not the disease. Talk to them about your new boundaries when they are sober. Write them on the refrigerator so they can’t say they forgot. Basically let them know all the bad and awful things they do to you and the rest of the family while they are drinking. They need to know.
This is very important when you are living with an alcoholic and this is how you heal yourself from the abuses of the alcoholic. You are not alone and there are some many stories to be found of other peoples experiences at the blog on stopdrinkingadvice.org and you will soon realise that things can change and life can get better.