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Looking Back. Looking Ahead.

Posted Oct 03 2012 11:22am
Good Morning! Yes, believe it or not, I am actually getting around to posting in the morning! Yay me!

Ok, haha...Joke is on me as it is 3 hours later and I am still poking away at the keyboard...
I could edit the intro and you would never know, but I am human and will leave it up there for all to see.

Just wanted to take a minute and explain a bit more about this post the other day...
I (thankfully) got some awesome comments on it and I can't tell you how much that means to me. It is not that easy putting yourself out there when you don't know how people will react.
I think everyone needs to take some time to find things they love about themselves. You don't have to be happy with everything in your life, but take the time to find a positive for every negative.
Can you do that for me? I knew you could!

So why does that picture mean so much to me?
Do you have a mental image of yourself that doesn't always look like what you see in the mirror? I mean, I think we all do. That picture from my race isn't what I usually see. I am someone who can look in the mirror all day but never see myself. I see my hair. I see my make-up. I see my outfit. But I very rarely look in a mirror and see myself. (Does that even make sense?)

I thought I would share some pictures so you'd have some idea why that picture caught me by surprise.
This is me, the sailor, on board the USS McKee in 1995.
BTW, I never ran. Not even in boot camp. I couldn't. I walked the required run.

This picture was taken when I had lost some weight. Prior to this, I was at an all time high for myself. Even heavier than my pregnancy weight. I topped out at around 180. I liked how I looked, but now I realize I was still looking a little 'thick' in July 2002.

I was not a happy girl and my weight bounced around. I talked about it a bit here in this post. This is at the Henry Ford museum in the Summer of 2008.

I made some major life changes and had a new outlook on my life. Truly, this was the beginning of my journey to finding Me. Kailua, Hawaii November 2009

I actually like that picture. It doesn't look like me today, but I worked hard to get bikini ready and embarrass my son who didn't think it was "appropriate" for me to wear a bikini. Ha!

I look through these pictures and know that I have come a long way. Food and eating have been a struggle war for me. I know I am not perfect and I know no matter how far I run, I could never run away from those things that are behind me now.

That is why I have chosen not to run FROM anything, but to run TOWARDS the things I want for myself.
I love myself.
Because of that, I have found myself surrounded by people who also love me.
Some of them have always been there, but I probably didn't see it.

This is me today. This is who I am. This is how I feel.
Little known secret: The pic was taken by someone who means a great deal to me.
People can be life changers just like choices can.
The smile is for that special someone. The run is for me.

I have earned the right to motivate myself.


That is not exclusive to me, you have that option each and every day...
Choose that option.
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