Twelve weeks ago today, an amazing thing happened. I gave birth to Aela Mae Steidley, possibly the most beautiful and sweet baby girl to ever exist. Of course, I am not biased at all.
Like with all major life changes, I knew I was in for a big transition. Marriage, moving, having a baby, getting a new job, creating a new business…these are all huge life changes that I’ve chosen in my life. They’re incredibly positive. And incredibly difficult. Sometimes, life throws change at us and we don’t have a choice – such as with physical pain, major life stress, or loss. I went through that, too, last year, when I miscarried.
This change, though, has been the biggest change I’ve ever experienced. Life as I knew it has vanished, and I’m learning how to navigate everything from postpartum healing to being a mom to being a mom with a business to run. Not to mention how to be married with a new baby. It’s like I’m walking through an entirely new landscape, but there are familiar flowers and shrubs. I just have no previous knowledge of the route.
As I start back to work, I plan to take small steps. This blog post is the first in my new series, “Life in the Trenches.” You’ll still see guest blog posts from my Endorsed Coaches, because I’m moving at a new, slower pace right now. I’m being gentle with myself as I learn to walk this new route. When I need to, I plan to drop down and crawl.
The Life in the Trenches series is about dealing with life when you’re really in The Mess . It’s about living when change is the constant, you’re moving through a new landscape, or everything just feels overwhelming. You might not have a new baby snuggled up next to you, but I imagine there’s something going on in your life. A new job. A new relationship. A loss. A new take on your body as you learn the mind-body tools. Whether it’s a joyful or sad experience, I imagine you might be in the trenches, too. Whatever your trench is, you’re on the front lines of your own life, just like I am.
I’m hoping that by taking you along on my journey through change and major life upheaval, you’ll benefit, too. I’ll get to share with you what I’m doing to survive and thrive. I’ll get to be open, vulnerable, and relaxed about what I’m going through as I talk about it with you. I plan to let myself play and be silly, too, along the way. For example, you can look forward to new Facebook Posts on the Anamsong Facebookpage. They’ll be called “Updates from the Trenches.” They might be serious and they might be silly. I’m letting myself go with the flow.
Instead of waiting until I feel like I “have it all together” (insert sound of loud laughter here!) and writing about it, I think I need to bring you into my personal practice so that we can journey together through the unknown – both yours and mine. I’ll share simple ways I’m dealing with huge change, and you can share right back. What are you doing that works? What do you think of the latest thing I’m doing for myself? Does it help you? Together, we’ll man the front lines.
Here’s the first thing I’m doing for myself: letting myself be a mess. I’ve cried so much since giving birth that I could probably break some kind of record. I’ve felt incredibly incompetent. I’ve felt angry. I’ve felt completely overwhelmed. I’ve felt lost. I’ve felt alone. I’ve come face to face with many of my inner demons again, like perfectionism, pushing, and ignoring my own needs. I’ve lost track of my inner wisdom periodically.
I’ve also felt immense joy, love, and connection. I’ve changed in positive ways. I’ve learned huge and powerfully positive lessons already in just 12 short weeks. That’s the way it works in the trenches. There’s a whole lot of everything. So step one is to just let it all happen and ease up on the self-judgment. Not always an easy task, but one that is vital. Incredibly vital.
I realize I’m going on and on here, but I wanted to really fill you in on what’s happening in my life and what you can look forward to as I start coaching and teaching again. I’m thrilled to be back, even though that, too, is a major change. The first thing I want to do, right away, is help you get really comfortable with the one, simple practice that has helped me the most through this experience of being pregnant, giving birth, and becoming a mother. I’m talking about the Core Anamsong Practice . Of all the tools in my bag, this is the one I’ve reached for over and over again throughout the last year. It’s simple. It’s quick. It centers me. It connects me back to my body and my soul wisdom. It brings me home, every time.
With that in mind, I’m planning a teleclass for Thursday, December 13 at 5 pm MT (4pm PT/7pm ET). You’re invited to join me for ninety minutes of in-depth help around the Core Anamsong Practice. We’ll troubleshoot any areas where you’re getting stuck, I’ll coach anyone who wants to be coached through the practice, and answer questions. (So plan on getting interactive and bringing your questions or issues!) For more info, you can click here .
So – welcome to the trenches! Here we go, tools in hand, to work through whatever life brings. But we won’t be alone. We’ll be together. We’ll share. We’ll be honest. We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. We’ll have community (that’s what I really want to use the Facebook Pagefor!). Hope to connect with you on Facebook, through the blog, and via the phone on December 13!