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Lies,Wicked Lies and Uncomfortable Truths.

Posted Jul 24 2011 12:00am
Unplanned Blogging Breaks do eff up my ambitious posts on the Science of fitness.
But then I wonder who really cares about Science - that too of Fitness, in a world of shortcuts and Lookism?
A pile of Health and Fitness supplements in the Sunday papers and a rash of misleading ads confirm that Lies repeated religiously become Facts in the mind of people.Confront the public with these lies every weekend and help them lose weight (from their wallets at least).Always juxtapose with *throw caution to the winds*  exotic recipes ,some mandatory Spiritual Bilge and fitness *secrets* mouthed by  -C rated, photoshopped,scalpel-happy celebrities. Let us dear Reader once more Yogahop, Bhangra - kick-box, Zumba,,belly-dance and pole-prance our way through all the Bulls**t.Because something as simple as picking up a Heavy Dumbell , breaking into a Sprint, climbing a flight of stairs, eating veggies or Real home-made food is so frightfully mundane,plebeian, unclassy and moreover Bad for the Economy. Good Citizens always think of the Economy,personal costs be damned.Patriotism matters.Otherwise how will makers of Glucose Energy Biscuits,Low fat Butters, Fat-free,Zero-Cholesterol cereals ,Diabetic friendly eatables,Super-duper Speciality Doctors,Gourmet fast-food Restaurateurs do business ? How will the franchisee Gym operators,super sauna belt and morning walker makers, shady Health drink wallahs, the body contourers and liposuctors flourish ? For your continued Disregard,I present,Ladies and Gentlemen : Varsha's list of Beautiful Lies and Crappy Truths.
  • Losing Weight is equivalent to losing fat. 
  • (It is equal to losing muscle -unless you are doing some muscle building activity ).
  • Not eating Fat will make me thin It will make you fat,dim,ugly, unhappy and infertile .I am not being rude,just factual -Good Fats ensure that you have sufficient quantities of building material for your Brain Tissue,your skin,your feel good hormones (endorphins) and your Sex Hormones.You will get fat by shunning fat because all the fat free stuff is either sugar or starch or fake fat.
  • Eating less will help you to lose Weight.  (It will kick in the starvation reflex-making your body hoard every little bit of precious fat). Calorie Control is the key to Weight Loss.  (Calories do matter in a very loose sense like Truth,Beauty and Goodness.But in real life, you must be specific about Good Calories and Bad Calories.If you consume only thousand calories of junk food everyday,maybe you will lose weight i.e if your thrifty genes are not acting up -hoarding fat like some crazy mother Hubbard.However, the added perks of being under and mal-nourished will be definitely yours.) Cardio for forty five minutes to an hour is essential for increased fitness. (Aerobic Exercise for prolonged duration, without undertaking any strengthening of the muscles, wears the Body out. It causes chronic injuries and reduced muscle mass.Fat loss too plateaus, whether you jog,walk, yogahop or hula-hoop as the body gets used to it fast.Which also explains the remarkable chunkiness of most choreographers.) Healthy diet means no ghee,no butter and lots of whole grain atta. (Healthy Diet means controlling your Insulin. Good fats like ghee slow down the Insulin spike and cereals including your multi-grain,whole,added fibre stuff create unhealthy spikes.I would rather go ga-ga over butter fried fish than have sookha chapati if weight,diabetes or other hormonal issues were plaguing me.) High calorie is bad, low calorie is good.High Fat is bad ,low fat is good.Cholesterol is bad , zero Cholesterol is Good. (Need I repeat everything ?)
  • Treadmill is the ultimate Fitness equipment. 
  • (Actually it is -if you are a Treadmill dealer :) ) Lifting Weights will give you Big Guns -so women Stay off the mean weights. Pink dumbells are Best for women -they Tone :))  (*unflexes her imaginary Guns and groans *)  No I will not go into this again .
  • Ab exercises will give you six packs. 
  • (They will give you Back -pain.Only Body Fat percentages of 15%-17 % will reveal the boxes.This can be  achieved by intelligent exercise and scrupulously Clean Eating as also through ministrations of a helpful Body Contourer cum liposuctor.)  Saturated Fats cause Heart Disease.
  • *sigh* I will pointlessly point out once again : Uncontrolled sugar,salt,carbohydrates and Junk Fats  cause lesions in the Heart's Plumbing which the body attempts to patch up using cholesterol (body's natural repair material) - thus causing Arterial Plaques.Would you call a deep gash in your head as being caused by dettol,betadine and cotton gauze ?
  • And all this only reminds me of hugely lucrative alternative employment propositions -let me go and Dream :))
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