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Letting Go of Bad Behavior, Painful Emotions and Guilt

Posted Apr 11 2010 5:00am

This weekend Tiger Woods has liberated himself from his separation from golf as he is playing in the Masters.  He has sought treatment for his bad behavior and undoubtedly to reduce his painful emotions and guilt.  Hopefully, he is liberated from his bad behavior, painful emotions and guilt.

I would expect that his golf game may reach new heights with the resolution of his devastating and draining painful emotions and guilt precipitated by his bad behavior.

The purpose of this post is not to discredit Tiger Woods.  The purpose of this post is to provide a plan for all of us to free ourselves from our bad behavior, painful emotions and guilt.  After all, haven't all of us had painful emotions and regrets following bad behavior?  Haven't we all struggle with letting go of problems in our lives?  Haven't we all struggled with letting go of painful emotions and guilt?

Here is a five step program for stopping bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.  I call this the L" System.

1.  Limit Your Losses:  This means to stop your bad behaviors.  Also stop thinking the thoughts and giving in to the feelings that rationalized your bad behavior.

2.  Learn:  Learn your bad behavior will always have negative consequences.  Learn your bad behavior will devastate those who care about you and those about whom you care.  Learn your bad behavior violates your values.  Learn that painful emotions and guilt are realistic, when you have engaged in bad behavior.

3.  Liberate Yourself:  After you have limited your losses and have really learned, then you are at the point that you can liberate yourself.  After you have accepted the realities triggered by your bad behavior, it is time to forgive yourself.  Real liberation comes from self forgiveness. Painful emotions and guilt willl remain as long as you are continuing to engage in bad behaviors. Painful emotions and guilt will continue to occupy your mind until you have forgiven yourself.

4.  Letting Go: As you fill your conscious mind with thoughts of self forgiveness, it becomes easier to let go of your bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.  Letting go is a conscious choice that is really possible after you've gone through the first three stages.  Letting Go is also fostered by recognizing, making amends and seeking forgiveness from those who have hurt.

 5.  Look Forward: The temptations and negative thinking that generated your past bad behavior must be dealt with in the future.  Once you have gone through this program of acceptance and forgiveness, you can look forward with confidence and determination.  You can have confidence in your learning, forgiveness and determination to avoid bad behaviors.  You can perceive past situations where you engaged in bad behavior as opportunities to strengthen your new behaviors, your enjoyable feelings and peace of mind.

I hope that these five steps will help you find freedom from bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

 

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