I've missed you guys so much. This may be the last post on The Quest for T...
I've not been in a good place the past few days. And quite frankly, I'm sick of me. Then I began to notice a few quotes that are popping into my awareness. Like this one
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice." ~ Wayne Dyer
"Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." ~ Lao Tzu
And of course, this one that is one of my faves
"A happy life is just a string of happy moments, but most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life." ~ Abraham-Hicks
I've been playing along on my personal FB page too... trying to show some gratitude during the holidays.
I'm also throwing my own Gratitude Party this weekend. Much like the one I had in 2006 . Coincidentally, I'm feeling just as angry with the world as I was then too. It helped me to gather my friends, change my mind and thank my way through some of the darkest moments of my life.
I'm trying to do it again. To motivate myself. To see what's right in front of me. To avoid "giving up the present" because I do "not see a future". (Rascal's words)
What the hell is wrong with me? I'm usually the one giving HIM that advice.
So, since I've not been blogging, I've at least kept my Twitter and FB followers entertained with my own #gratitude tweets.
Like these I am thankful for... my space heater that is keeping me warm. And this job that is paying me to sit here and tweet.*giggle*
I am thankful for the love of my children. How they put up with me is anybody's guess.
I am grateful for the way things work out, even when it seems like they're not. SomeOne knows better than I do.
I am thankful for everyone who participates in being thankful. I wish I could carry it with me always.
I am grateful to be aware of others' battles... it allows me to see my own a little differently.
I am thankful for random awesomeness that appears in my inbox... and my life. Inspiration is everywhere.
I am thankful that, seriously?, I have a man who loves me even when I can barely tolerate myself. How the hell does that happen?
I am thankful that my employer does pay for my health insurance. Even if the deductible is absolutely ridiculous.
I am grateful that, because it is slow at work, I was able to leave by 3, pick up my kids, rent a movie and snuggle with some hot chocolate.
I am grateful for this time with my kids... worth everything I do, it really is.
I've realized that my fear has taken over, just as it did in 2006. I couldn't "buy in" to the new life I was going to be leading. I was fighting everything that was happening to me. It didn't look like I wanted it to look like and I wanted change.
I wanted change and I was scared of change.
I had to stop and appreciate every moment so that the change could occur in its own time.... and I was ok with it as it happened.
Time to do that again.
Things are changing. The blog's going private. I'm figuring some things out, new hopes, new desires for life. Still a lot of unanswered questions.
But I have to be grateful for now.
If you haven't already, email me your email address to be invited to the private blog.