I cannot believe what was running through my mind last night. Even though I have felt a ton better over the last few days (and even woke up with only the slightest sore throat) I was actually considering throwing in the towel and dropping the half-marathon on May 1st. My training schedule has been awful because of my mono-like symptoms (I checked my medical record and this has been going on for almost 2 months) and I just wanted to quit. I raised the whole amount of money, and thought well, this is life, things happen, I raised the money. the AMA will still benefit from my contributions…
I fell asleep, sad at the thought of giving up again. I am not a quitter by nature and when I make a commitment, I do my best to stick to it. I realized this morning that the only thing or person I really give up on is MYSELF. ouch. I never give up on my students, my friends (which is another story altogether) or my family. I always have hope that things will work out and everything will be ok. I just have a hard time with doing that for myself. I give up on myself a lot. When I finally sought help for my eating disorder, I even considered that giving up my idea of what I thought I should be. Since my long road of recovery began, I grappled with the thought of giving up the possibility of a balanced lifestyle so I could look like what I thought everyone else wanted. And now as I struggle to find a new balance between a realistic lifestyle and a LIFE, part of me just wants to hide under the covers.
It’s funny thing to wake up and realize you are a completely different person. The old me would have quit this idea of the 1/2 marathon long ago…hell, the old me would have never signed up. I woke up this morning with a determination I haven’t felt before. I will do this 1/2 marathon if it takes me all day and I am the very last person to cross the damn finish line. I am going to do this for me. I have this quote as my background on my computer and will chant this every day…
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ “
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I need this quote to remind me that life isn’t about doing things right the first time. Sure the 1/2 is going to be hard, but I am pretty sure I will never feel better when I finish. I quit when I find things aren’t going my way… I have definitely taken the long way around in my life, and so far the journey has been a little rough, but totally worth it. Life isn’t about getting things right the first time, but figuring out how to get to where you are supposed to be…and having a hell of a story to tell when you get there.
NO WAY!
I cannot believe what was running through my mind last night. Even though I have felt a ton better over the last few days (and even woke up with only the slightest sore throat) I was actually considering throwing in the towel and dropping the half-marathon on May 1st. My training schedule has been awful because of my mono-like symptoms (I checked my medical record and this has been going on for almost 2 months) and I just wanted to quit. I raised the whole amount of money, and thought well, this is life, things happen, I raised the money. the AMA will still benefit from my contributions…
I fell asleep, sad at the thought of giving up again. I am not a quitter by nature and when I make a commitment, I do my best to stick to it. I realized this morning that the only thing or person I really give up on is MYSELF. ouch. I never give up on my students, my friends (which is another story altogether) or my family. I always have hope that things will work out and everything will be ok. I just have a hard time with doing that for myself. I give up on myself a lot. When I finally sought help for my eating disorder, I even considered that giving up my idea of what I thought I should be. Since my long road of recovery began, I grappled with the thought of giving up the possibility of a balanced lifestyle so I could look like what I thought everyone else wanted. And now as I struggle to find a new balance between a realistic lifestyle and a LIFE, part of me just wants to hide under the covers.
It’s funny thing to wake up and realize you are a completely different person. The old me would have quit this idea of the 1/2 marathon long ago…hell, the old me would have never signed up. I woke up this morning with a determination I haven’t felt before. I will do this 1/2 marathon if it takes me all day and I am the very last person to cross the damn finish line. I am going to do this for me. I have this quote as my background on my computer and will chant this every day…
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ “
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I need this quote to remind me that life isn’t about doing things right the first time. Sure the 1/2 is going to be hard, but I am pretty sure I will never feel better when I finish. I quit when I find things aren’t going my way… I have definitely taken the long way around in my life, and so far the journey has been a little rough, but totally worth it. Life isn’t about getting things right the first time, but figuring out how to get to where you are supposed to be…and having a hell of a story to tell when you get there.