I don’t even know how to start this post. How do you sit down and type out the emotions you feel when you welcome a child into the world? Well, you can’t. So instead I’ll share with you the day’s events and do my best to convey the feeling of absolute bliss when I finally got to hold my baby girl. Word to the wise… you know this is going to be long!
Contractions stayed steady and I was feeling good. I was told the doctor would be back in a few hours to see if the contractions had successfully started moving her down in the right direction. David and I hung around the room chatting and we told mom and dad to bring Hailey by.
She walked into the room and her eyes widened when she saw me. I thought the sight of me in on a big ball and attached to some tubes might freak her out. Her eyes looked quizzical as she asked me ‘Mommy, what you doing?’
With some coaxing and explanation that her baby sister was getting ready to come out of my tummy, she got excited and I managed to get some snuggles.
At 10:30 the contractions were still coming every 2 minutes and feeling strong. I could feel baby girl wiggling around and her heartbeat was staying steady. I was feeling good enough to be hungry and sipped on some broth.
At 10:45 the doctor came in to check me. I was 4cm and baby girl was moving down.
He broke my water and I knew with that cushion gone things would start to get a little more real.
David and I turned on Frasier to distract me as the contractions started getting stronger. By 11:30 they were intense. They were still two minutes apart but when one hit me, I’d have to close my eyes and focus on breathing through them. They continued to get stronger and I couldn’t stay in bed and needed the room to be quiet. I’d stand up until one came and then I’d fold over into David or onto the table and sway my hips back and forth and trying to breath as they passed.
Things began to get fuzzy after that and I decided the pain was too much for me to handle so I decided to ask for the epidural. At 12:30pm it was administered and ahh, instant relief! Just like with Hailey, I could wiggle my toes and move my feet, but the pain was gone (though I could still feel the tightening). No regrets.
The nurse came in to check me at 1:45pm. I was 7-8 cm. She said the baby had a few heart decels and she wanted to try turning me onto my side. I turned over to my left and she told me she’d be back in a little while to check me again. Well, only about 30 seconds after I turned onto my side I felt serious pressure. I don’t remember feeling it with Hailey, but I knew instantly that it was the pressure to push. I mentioned it to the nurse, who casually said that she would check me again.
I turned back over and her eyes opened wide. She is right here! she said. She yelled to another nurse to page the doctor right away and told me to try my best not to push as another nurse rushed to shut off my pitocin. David and I looked at each other with excitement… here we go!
5 minutes later the doctor still wasn’t there yet and the nurse was clearly anxious. She was holding the baby’s head in and finally told the other nurses to get ready because they were going to have to deliver the baby. The tension was high, the room was bustling and I was given an oxygen mask. That’s when the doctor walked in the room. He took one look at me and jumped into action. Everything happened so fast and I heard the nurse say something about baby’s heart rate being low for 3 minutes and my heart almost stopped. I knew I needed her out now.
I meant business and could have cared less about tearing again, so I went for it and in just 3 pushes, Kaitlyn Elizabeth made her entrance into the world at 2:04 pm. I heard myself saying over and over, she’s not crying, but a moment later, there it was, the sweet sound of a newborn cry as the nurses noted her long fingers and legs and her curly hair.
They put her up on my belly immediately and I got to give her a kiss on her crinkled forehead as tears started flowing again from my eyes. There are no words to describe seeing your child for the first time. Any doubt I had about my ability to love another child vanished in an instant and my heart exploded with more love than I had ever felt. She was finally here!
They moved her over to weigh and measure her, as the doctor stitched me up. Only a second degree tear instead of the third degree I had with Hailey. I considered that a win! Soon enough, she was back on my chest. I tried to nurse her and she latched right away, continuing to nurse for 20 minutes on each side.
After nursing, they gave her a bath and the curly hair they had told us about went completely straight- haha! Also, it turns out she was born posterior and had the cord wrapped once around her neck, just like big sister! But none of that mattered anymore. She was safe and healthy in our arms.
We knew we wanted Hailey to be the first to meet her, so we called the family to come to the hospital at 4:00. David went to get Hailey from the waiting room and videoed her coming in to meet her little sister that we had talked so much about. That video will always be one of my favorites. Hailey was cautious, but so excited to meet Kaitlyn. She couldn’t wait to give her the giraffe present she had brought. Kaitlyn gave her a new baby doll, which she took to immediately. It was perfect.
After a little time as a family of four, we brought all the family back to meet her.
After passing her around and sharing many hugs, tears and laughs, the room cleared out and it was just David, Kaitlyn and me. David and I couldn’t stop saying how perfectly the day had gone. Though it wasn’t the ‘going into labor on my own’ path I had really wanted, the whole experience was calm and wonderful. We both commented on how we felt we were able to really enjoy Kaitlyn’s entrance into the world and how excited we were that she was finally here.
Becoming a mom the second time is no less special and I’ve spent so many moments sniffing her head, touching her soft skin, looking in her eyes and breathing in this newborn goodness. Though I know everyday won’t be rainbows and sunshine as I navigate our new path as a family of four, I see how quickly the time passes. Since I have yet to find that pause button on life, I want to do my best to soak it in.
I’m planning on writing a post on tidbits from the first week and another answering questions I’ve received, so if you have any questions, please comment with them. And again, thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve shown me and my family. I’m reading every comment and email and it means so much to me!