My fear is a fear of kicking up into the pose. It’s not about balance or even that my arms aren’t strong enough to hold me. It’s a fear of that moment of lifting up off the ground, letting go and trusting myself and my body. It feels like you are tipping yourself so far forward that you might fall on your face and at that very moment, you kick up into the air. As a result of this fear, I often would decide in my mind beforehand that I’m not capable of kicking up into handstand. I wasn’t committed to the process or the pose so my body felt heavy instead of light.
We practiced various ways of lifting up off the ground and of feeling lightness in our bodies. I still couldn’t do it and I was beginning to feel frustrated. Finally, on my last try, I kicked up by myself into handstand. As I came down, I had the biggest grin on my face.Exhale. Release the Fear. Engage the core. Lift up light as a feather.
I’m not quite sure what was different this time around but I think that I’m learning to use my fear in a different and more productive way. I still have a long way to go but this is progress.
More Ways to Follow Love, Life, Surf