As I mentioned before, I have been reading Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D. and Elyse Resch, M.S., R.D., F.A.D.A. I am finding it fascinating and I know that it can help me.
I know I have hit the end. I have lost 100 pounds 3 times in the last 3 years. That is a rollercoaster of 100 pounds loss and gains times 3. It is not good for me. I have hit dieting bottom. Weight Watchers is not going to work. It is a good program but it is not for me. I am tired of dieting. I am tired of playing little games, obsessing on every little thing that goes into my mouth.
I have read the first 3 chapters and I am going to give me impression on it. One of the first things things that struck me was the amount of advertising money has increased from 1973 to 1991. In 1991, almost 5% commercials were on some sort of diet product. I can imagine how much it has grown since then. Are we any thinner with those commercials – hell no. As a matter of fact, we have gained more weight.
What kind of eater am I?
I am primarily an unconscious eater. Food has filled in for many things lacking. It was a friend when I was lonely, angry, miserable, bored or sad. Loneliness has filled my life from when I was a teenager until recently. I separated myself from people but I was miserable. When I didn’t think my Mother cared, food was there. Food is there when I am bored. Food is just there. It is not just when I binged but if I was feeling down, the package of M&Ms were there as was the Burger King drive-thru. I was down a lot.
I also used food to handle unwanted and disturbing emotions. I used it to stop unwanted sexual advances. Who would want me if I was fat? Then the thoughts of worthlessness and its cousins joined in.
When I was actively losing weight, I did not follow any of the Intuitive Eating Guidelines.
1. Reject the Diet Mentality - No more counting points, saying that it is a “lifestyle” and not a “diet”, stop obsessing over when and what you will eat. I thought about food 24 –7. I was never so obsessed with food in my life.
2. Honor Your Hunger – I was constantly hungry because I obsessed over food so much.
3. Make Peace With Food – This is something that I will struggle with. I viewed food as bad. I had no trust in myself. I didn’t think I could have cookies in the house and have it last most than 2 days. I would eat the peanut butter right out of the fridge. It was me versus food. Food was the victor.
4. Challenge the Food Police – Can I be my worst food policeman? I can’t eat THAT. I could never just have a treat. I never ate dessert at a restaurant when I was at my highest weight. I couldn’t even treat myself once in a blue moon.
5. Feel Your Fullness – What? Was I ever full? I was hungry after 5 minutes of eating.
6. Discover Your Satisfaction – What? Never.
7. Cope With Your Emotions – What? Never.
8. Respect Your Body – I hated myself no matter what my size.
9. Exercise – Yes, please.
10. Honor Your Health ~ Gentle Nutrition – I couldn’t do that if I did respect myself.