I did it! I worked out in that section of the gym that always seems full of big, loud guys and really heavy weights and where I never, ever went since I joined my gym (until today!!!). It was me, in my undeniably pink tank top and a bunch of guys. I was intimidated, but I did it, and I'm feeling proud of myself for that.
About two months ago, I was gifted a 2-month. Child care was $10 a month, unlimited, and it was (is!) awesome. Nolan and I fell in love, so when my two months were up, I decided to join if I could get the price I wanted (I did!).
Lately, I've been on a mission to "get my groove back." I'd been doing too much stress eating and not appropriately taking care of myself, and I just had enough. I am a capable, intelligent, creative, thoughtful, and loving human being. I can and should take some time to maintain the body I live in. I can find clothes that fit properly (and preferably, that I feel great in). I can let myself walk through tough spots instead of trying to numb them with all!the!food!.
It's been sort of a zig-zaggy path, but I'm on it and I'm moving.
Today, I decided I'd like to add some focus to my fitness. I like a good plan to follow; I like to see progress. I also like to feel strong, a feeling I haven't felt for awhile and when I DID it was with the help of a DVD or a group class.
I don't know how to navigate a weight room on my own. I don't understand terms beyond barbell, dumbbell, and bench press. I don't understand what a person would do on a "leg day," and I'm not entirely sure how so many people I see can just hit the weights without carrying around a written plan (like I did today).
It's a steep learning curve, but I want to move past just doing whatever I already know how to do- cardio, whatever I can think of to do with a dumbbell, some push-ups. I don't want to rely on machines. I want to learn how to use weights.
I want to feel strong and be strong. I want to sleep better and feel great about how I treat my body. I want to be able to help friends move or climb rocks or not have to ask for help every time I encounter something heavy.
After a little research, I decided to try out a plan somewhat loosely (I didn't buy the book) based on the old Body for Life plan. It's 12 weeks. After that, I'll reevaluate and decide where I want to go from there.