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I Disappear…

Posted Mar 13 2010 12:00am

It bothers me that I do that. I recently told my friend Stephanie that I wasn’t sure if I even wanted followers. And part of the reason is I wasn’t sure I could keep up with this blog. Looking back on the past week though, I didn’t do so hot when it comes to eating. I feel a part of the reason was that I wasn’t writing. It inspires me to try harder when I write it all out and pour out what I’m really thinking.

Although my eating habits weren’t too great, I did work out everyday with the Shred DVD and twice I also went to the gym to do a class. (Side note-finally moving up to Level 2 on Sunday!) Tonight, after spinning, I weighed myself. I was quite nervous because I would have been devastated if I went up. Stayed the same. I’m ok with that. For now. But again, looking back, I know it is because I just keep making the same choices. I wish I could just stick with something and it really bothers me that I’m having such a hard time with it.

Here is one of my biggest problems. If I eat something that was not planned, something that I just succumb to, I feel the whole day is ruined. Then, I get into this mindset of well what does it matter what I eat the rest of the day, I already ruined it. Here’s an example. The other day a couple of teachers bought Dunkin Donuts for every teacher as a way to boost the moral in our school. I had already eaten breakfast and certainly had not planned on this surprise donut visit. Well when they came to my door my reaction was SURE I will have one. Or two. And a half. And then I felt like why should the rest of the day even matter when I clearly just did horribly. Well, everything matters. Every calorie every point matters. But I’ve always been the type of person who likes to start things over on a new day. This is a habit I’m going to work on breaking.

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