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Feeling Stuck? Set Yourself Free in 5 Steps

Posted Dec 13 2010 11:48am

This post was written by Anastasiya . Follow me on Twitter or StumbleUpon and keep your life balanced!

Do you sometimes feel that you are stuck? Do you feel that you have no control over your life? Maybe you feel that you are not free to do what you want to do in life and even to catch a breath of air? In one way or another we are all longing for freedom but of course our responsibilities, beliefs, fears, routines and schedules always keep us on a short leash. Unfortunately life like that cannot be satisfying nor can it be balanced.

No matter how much we long for freedom we are often afraid to make the first step. You can sometimes imagine what a free life could be like but you are scared that you will fall before you get there or step on something (or in something, that happens too sometimes.) Anyway making the first step is always difficult and to some it seems almost impossible. Are you ready to be free?

Step #1. Convince yourself that it is possible to make the first step.

Your trust in yourself and in the help that you will get along the way will conquer all your initial fears. I find it difficult to believe in something that I cannot guarantee or I cannot predict but somehow all my endeavors always work out in the best way. And if they don’t then I know that I have to do something else in my life. I must say that I am not alone in this journey. A lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about this subject but as a Christian I believe that God always supports and helps me. And at this point I have no reason to doubt Him because He always helps me in the most difficult and most joyous times. You do not have to share my beliefs… It is just a thought for you to ponder on…

Step #2. Be prepared.

Freedom is not always easy. A lot of people dream about quitting their 9-to-5 job and following their passion. It sounds like a dream but if you are not prepared for it your life can easily turn into a nightmare. You need to be prepared financially and mentally; you need to have support from the people who are important to you; you need to have a back-up plan as well as the skills that you might need along the way. Let me put it like this. Freedom is often associated with flying. If you know how to fly (you can miraculously grow wings or turn into a bird) or you have a parachute that you know how to use then you are good to go. But imagine that somebody gives you “freedom” by pushing you out of the plane. Unless you can fly or you have a parachute – you are in trouble!

Think of ways you can be always prepared. Do you need to learn a new skill? Do you need to set aside a security fund? Do you need to find someone to help you around the house or with your kids? Do you need to get your life straightened out in a way that only you know? Think about it…

Here is Just a small example. If you do not know yet English is my third language. Without knowing anything about my future I was studying English at school and apparently did a pretty good job at it.  Without this skill I could never get my first job that led me to meet my husband, starting this blog and running retreats off this blog.

How can you get prepared?

Step #3. Do something that you are reluctant to do.

A lot of times we know that something is the right thing to do but we just can’t get ourselves to do it. Maybe you know that it is a good thing to be generous and to help someone financially but you just cannot bring yourself to doing it (there is always a good excuse to not do it right now.) Maybe you know that it is time to change your lifestyle to a healthier one but again you find excuses to not do it. Maybe you have a relative who is difficult to deal with and you just do not want to spend any time with them. Well, maybe it is time to be nice to them first (no matter how difficult it might be and how right you are to be offended at him/her) and make peace with them at least for a while.

When you know that something needs to be done but you procrastinate doing it, when you are constantly reminded of why you need to do this but you can never bring yourself to actually doing it you are draining yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. You start feeling almost claustrophobic in the boundaries of your own life. It is time to break one of those boundaries and set yourself free.

Step #4. Do something you are afraid of.

You might think that it is the same as the previous step but it is definitely not. You really do not have to do something that you are afraid of because you can survive without it most of the time. You can find your ways around it, you can adapt and think that you are quite happy. However, somewhere deep inside you will always feel a little bit scared, you will feel that something big is passing by and you are just afraid to try it. It is a very unpleasant feeling that will always keep you stuck and locked up behind the bars of fear. You need to smash it!

Fear is a natural reaction that is essential to our survival. If we didn’t have any fear we would probably be jumping off roofs right and left, spending all our money on lottery tickets and doing who knows what else. However it is important to control your fear and to not let it control you.

I remember that I was afraid to start my first retreat From a Sedentary to an Active Lifestyle in 1 Month. What if people would not sign up? What if they would not like my materials? What if they would be turned off by my accent and grammar mistakes? What if it will be a failure?

The only way for me to get rid of these fears was to jump right in it and to do my best at leading this retreat. Now that the retreat is over I feel that it was a success. I had 32 people sign up (they were all amazing ladies!), only one lady asked for her money back because she simply could not participate in the retreat at that time, I got great feedback from the participants and had requests to do it again. I would have never known that if I had been still locked up behind the bars of my fear.

Step #5. Change your routines.

Daily routines can be our best helpers or our biggest hindrances. Sometimes we feel that we have no time because our life is so full of things that we are used to. “I just must read the news in the morning.” “I always watch TV in the evening.” “I must check my Facebook, email, Twitter etc.” “I always spend my lunch chatting with my colleagues. It is a tradition.” All of these routines are not necessarily bad but they can be robbing you off your free time. The free time that you can use to do something that sets you free. I am cutting back on email, I completely neglect social media and I do not watch TV. Are you ready to change something in your daily schedule?

Answer yourself “How can I set myself free today?” Make a list of things that you can do right now and reclaim your freedom. If you have any questions, please drop me a line or post your question on Twitter (use @balanceinme or #BiMe in your tweet.)

Keep it balanced!


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