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Emotional roller coasters, freak outs, and the first trimester. {highlights reel}

Posted Mar 26 2012 9:04am

I don’t think I’ve ever been more on edge than I was during the first trimester. I was absolutely counting down the weeks until I would hit second tri.

I’m usually a relentlessly optimistic person, but I suppose the reality of having gone through one loss made another loss a much more imaginable scenario. While hitting the second trimester doesn’t give you a free pass to a healthy pregnancy, miscarriage is less common, occurring in 1 to 5 percent of pregnancies between 13 and 19 weeks. { source }

Getting that first faint positive brought on a slew of emotions. I was elated, thankful, and scared to death.

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Like I mentioned in the last post , I only took the one test with me… so, of course, I sent hubs out to Walgreens to buy one {or 5} more. We were out of town, it was the holidays, so I knew I wouldn’t be getting blood work until the next week. Until then, I wanted to keep testing to make sure the line was getting darker.

Have I mentioned that I’m a bit neurotic?

Success! A darker line 48 hours later!

Now, to sum up the first trimester…

I went to the hospital at 7:30am for my first blood draw to measure HCG and other hormones. The nurse would call me that afternoon to give me the results. I’m not sure I’ve ever waiting so impatiently on a phone call in my life. That afternoon, I freaked when the phone call finally came. I answered, trying to sound calm, not knowing what to expect, but trying with everything in me to be hopeful. My nurse very peppily said, “You’re pregnant! Beta is 399!


I immediately called hubs, my parents, sister. Then, I resisted the urge to do cartwheels in my living room.

Two days later, I went back to make sure things were doubling. I remember that the hospital parking garage was super cold that morning, but I walked sloooowly to the elevator, as not to jolt the little espresso bean inside of me. Thinking back, I feel like I tip-toed everywhere for the first few weeks. Going up and down stairs took me forever.

I went upstairs to get my orders for blood work, then back down to the lab. Sitting in the waiting room, I was in the company of 3 obviously pregnant women doing their glucose testing. I remember getting mad, bitter, and hurt {Hush! I know… selfish, infertile feelings, blah blah blah.}

When am *I* going to be pregnant?” Sigh.

Oh wait… I AM! I know I couldn’t help but hold back a little smile when I realized this. I was so used to trying to put on blinders every time I went for labs.

A few minutes passed before I was called back to have blood drawn for the eleventy-millionth time since starting fertility treatments. And thank goodness it was the last time, because this girl butchered me! Now, I’ve had some bad blood draws during all of this, but this particular time was the worse. I was sore for days and my bruise was just nuts. Busted vein.

I had that puppy on my arms for a few weeks. :\

Our first ultrasound! WOO!

5 weeks, 4 days

Just a little yolk sac and teeny little beginning of a fetal pole. The best thing I’ve EVER seen!!!

Baby’s first animal rescue! 6 weeks!


I’ve always been active in animal rescue and adoption, and a few organizations are close to my heart. I volunteer as a transporter for German Shepherd Rescue & Adoption, and this pretty girl needed to be pulled from a shelter ASAP. She was down on the SC/GA state line, and we had a foster home lined up for her in Raleigh, NC, so hubs and I drove a few hours down to pick her up from the shelter, then drive her the first leg of the trip towards her new foster home. Luckily, morning sickness had not yet set it. :)


Happy pup :)

Looking back through my journal while I write this post, I came across this noted at 7 weeks, 1 day:

“Loving this today:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13″

Also from the journal? A single sentence on this day,

Peanut Butter sandwiches are amazing.

Today we were thrown a scary curveball. I woke up that morning with some bleeding, and, luckily, we already had another ultrasound scheduled for 8:30am. On the way to the hospital, I don’t think either of us said much. We just held hands.

Thankfully, the embryo was measuring right on track and we saw (and heard!!) that precious heartbeat for the first time! So, so amazing. Fetal heart rate was 157bpm.


Turns out, the bleeding was caused by a large SCH { sub chorionic hemorrhage } My doctor assured me that the location of the SCH was below the embryo, so she didn’t feel the need to be alarmed.

Since we heard the heartbeat, I couldn’t resist making this purchase that evening:


I decided that I should probably start snapping some belly bump photos to document the growth. There was no *real* baby bump at 8 weeks, but there was a LOT of “blump” {baby bump/bloat} It fluctuated throughout the day, but I still liked to at least pretend it was the beginning of a real bump. It was, at least, caused by the pregnancy, after all. ;)

Also, nausea was starting to set in, so I invested in a pair of these:

For mild nausea, they actually really work. I don’t think I took them off for another 4 weeks – I even slept in them!

I “graduated” from my RE and had my first appointment with my OB/GYN! So exciting to be in the somewhat “normal” pregnancy game. We got to see the little bean again, he/she even jumped around a couple of times!! We also found that I now had a cyst on my left ovary (explains the stinging/burning I had there,) but it looks like my SCH had reabsorbed!

It was a long appointment, and we walked out with the coveted pink tote bag that pregnant patients receive on their first prenatal visit. On our way out, I also had to give *more* blood. Woo.

9 weeks, 2 days! Fetal Heart rate: 176bpm!

The day goes downhill from there…

We had plans to go shopping after the doctors visit, but I wasn’t feeling well. We came home, and I slept from 1pm to almost 5pm. I woke up, but stayed in bed the rest of the evening. Around 9pm, things really got worse.

I had been cramping all day, but thought it was normal from the ultrasound and the exam. But by now, it was causing me to double over in pain. I was nearly convinced my cyst was rupturing. Hubs wanted to go to the ER, but after consulting with my on call nurse AND two friends who are L&D nurses, I was reassured that, if it was rupturing, there’s nothing the ER could do for it. I sucked it up and decided to take a tylenol (I was holding off until I couldn’t take it anymore.)

By 11pm, I was puking my guts out. First time that happened during this pregnancy.

Whatever was going on, eased up by the next morning.

Woke up to really bad bleeding.

Hubs had just pulled out of the driveway to leave for work, so I called him and he immediately turned around. I called the on call nurse, and she told me to just be at the office at 8:30 and they would work me in.

Somehow, I was oddly calm. Hubs was not.

I don’t know if it was a gut feeling or what, but I just couldn’t freak out. I prayed, I texted a couple close friends and asked them to pray. I felt… calm.

We went in for the ultrasound, and immediately saw our little one doing just fine with a strong heart beat. The source of the bleeding was never confirmed, but I suspect that my SCH hadn’t really reabsorbed like they had previously thought. I asked my doctor about this, and she said that if it was located very low, near the cervix, then there’s a chance that they hadn’t seen it at the last appointment because it was an external ultrasound, whereas all previous ultrasounds (including the one in which diagnosed the SCH) were internal.

I continued to spot for several more days. I really, really think it was the SCH after all. Scary, nonetheless.

13 week baby bump! When my shirt is pulled up, you can actually see the little bump!! :)

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Not so much when I have my shirt on…

I just look fat. :\

Wow, so that’s the *short* version of first trimester. The weeks of no updates in my journal were those in which morning sickness really got a hold of me. From the night I first got sick, around 9 1/2 weeks, I stayed sick until about 14 weeks. But, I’m pregnant, so it’s totally, totally worth it. :)

Now that I’ve got first tri out of the way, future “Bump Updates” will be a lot less lengthy, seeing as how I won’t have to condense 13 weeks in to one post.

Lastly, I came across this during our first trip to buy some pregnancy books. Makes me wonder… do they? I think so. ;)


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