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Emotional Influence of Weight Gain

Posted May 04 2012 12:42pm

I kept saying to myself, “I’m still ME.”  You know– it’s still me in here – regardless of the extra thirty pounds.  But, I realized very recently, that statement is not exactly true.

I have changed.  The weight has changed me…

I am not as energetic, not as spontaneous, not as “full of life” as before.  My self esteem has diminished and my confidence is not as high.  I’m less flirtatious, less flamboyant, and my choice of attire has changed.

I’m slightly depressed from time to time, annoyed, and disgusted by my own reflection.  Perhaps disgusted is not the right word – but definitely irritated and frustrated.

I think, maybe, I am funnier than before – always making jokes about myself…I suppose that’s a self-preservation mechanism.

Nonetheless, my circumstance is what it is; I’ve arrived at this juncture by my own accord.  Although, I did take estrogen for the last four and a half years and that had a huge influence on my weight gain.  Ladies, watch out for hormone replacement therapy! 

Last September I rebelled and stopped all medications and have yet to inform my gyno.  I’m working on the hormonal thing naturally and am hopeful that the situation will soon resolve. However, I am still left with a thirty-pound weight increase and it is very upsetting. 

I don’t particularly like to exercise, partially because I look hideous in work out clothes.  I adore food and am quite partial to wine; after all, my entire background has been in the food industry.  But, I’d rather look like “Giada De Laurentiis” and not “Paula Deen”, no offense.

In the past, I have been most successful at losing some weight with abstaining from carbs.  But, I have tried almost every fad diet out there – all with varying degrees of success, or lack thereof. 

I even kept a journal about some of the more ridiculous diets; aptly named “My Big Fat Fad Diet Diary.”  ~ See, I told you I was funny.

First Step – Honesty:  I realize now that my weight gain is not solely limited to the physical realm.

Second Step – Acceptance:  I cannot change the present by dwelling on the past, how or why I am at this moment, or by placing blame on my dietary habits vs. estrogen therapy…None of that matters.

Third Step – Momentum:  “Motivation + Movement = Momentum.” So, I need to get motivated, start moving, and then the momentum to keep me going will be the result of the equation.

Fourth Step – Eliminate “TMI”:  As in “Too Much Information!!”  Alas, I am a nutritional researcher who knows way too much about all the varying degrees of dietary habits, their influence on health and longevity, diets to stave off disease and illness…the list is long, detailed, grand, and contradictory.

Fifth Step – Implement a plan that works for me, right now, based on my personal experiences, my body, and my lifestyle. 

Sixth Step – Blockade the opinions of others.  Everyone has an opinion about weight loss and what works for him or her; they may have a vast or limited amount of knowledge on the subject.  I am already super aware of all the various studies, recommendations, styles, approaches, and techniques; most of which are in direct conflict with the other. 

Seventh Step – Ready, Set, Go!  

Stay tuned for updates of my progress ~ I plan to keep a detailed journal, including taking a photo of everything I eat…that should keep me mindful. 

Not to worry – I’m not going to post my journal here – but will let you know how it’s going from time to time.

By TR Hughes, © 2008 - 2012 .
All rights reserved worldwide.
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