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Don"t let love make you fat & Digestion tips.

Posted Feb 15 2010 9:09am
Love has no Calories....
Perfect timing, you've just finished hunkering down on a valentines binge of chocolates, alcohol and cinnamon hearts and I'm going to lay the how to maintain a healthy body weight. or perhaps you're a valentines hater so you've just finished a 40 oz of vodka to drown your heart breaking blues -either way the middle of february is a perfect time to start thinking about bathing suit weather or just generally being naked.

The Naked Test
So you tell yourself you like your body, in fact you're happy with where you're at. Great. Except that I don't actually believe you. Ok. maybe i believe 3 of you. But generally we can manage to grin and bear our dressed body but the naked one can be harder. So if you want to focus on feeling good and looking good. Take a look at yourself naked - and i don't mean running from the shower to the linen closet. I mean walk around the house slowly without covering all your bits. How does that feel?

I want it to feel good. Look - none of us our perfect, we all have something we hate - some of us have a few, but the amazing thing is when you start eating right, moving more and really following through you start to look difference and it actually shows. Sexy people are not perfect in fact it often has more to do with confidence and how they carry themselves. French women are a perfect example; stunning most of them simply because they embrace themselves.

The Next Habit for the Ass Backwards Diet will be back next week but this week we're looking at a series of habits that are will keep you ass small or at least the size you want it to be.

I could lie and tell you it's all about feeling good and loving yourself but the truth is I find it hard to love myself when I'm eating a donut and have a huge belly. That's me - and you need to figure out what works for you.

The Gun To The Head Theory
The other thing is I never have clients come to me and say " I want to feel healthy." Nope hasn't happened yet. What I get 9 times out of 10 is I'm fat and I don't like it. Vanity is much more motivating than avoiding ailments. It's amazing what kind of sickness people will let them have if they look okay. They may have chronic diarrhea for years but hey if they look good it can't be that big of a problem....

the gun to the head theory is that people won't do anything to change how they look or feel unless they feel they have to, ie. they boyfriend will leave them, they'll lose their job or they might die. Seriously we're that stubborn with our habits.

So here goes nothing.

These are the I don't want to be ugly rules I live by:

1. Calories are a pain in the ass to count. Portions matter. Grains or carbs is what people are getting fat on. Nobody gets fat eating too many vegetables. So 1/2 cup of pasta, rice, cereal is a serving. And no you won't starve to death. You just think you need more than you really do.

2. Eat something fresh at each meal. Banana on cereal, salad at lunch, broccoli with dinner. You get the picture. Think colorful fruit and vegetable.

3. Drink you minimum of 8 cups of water a day. Everyday. Not just when you feel like it or when you run out of coffee.

4. The Apple rule - if you think you're hungry and you won't eat an apple than you're having an emotional eating attack. Have an apple or use some fricking self control.

5. If you ever hear your silent voice saying, "Just one more bite, or just one more piece, or one more cookie...." You need to shut it down. Tell yourself to shut up.

6. Eat your fricking fracking breakfast. Don't skip it - if you do you will be not only fat eventually but exhausted and well just generally stupid. In fact breakfast or lunch should be your biggest meal of the day. have a good to great breakfast, a good to great lunch and then a smaller salad or smoothie for dinner. you'll lose weight and you'll feel better. If you are trying to lose weight DO NOT have your biggest meal for dinner. 

7. Move every day. Yeah i know you know this but i know most of you haven't taken it to heart yet. And walking at a snail pace doesn't count. I want heart pounding, blood pumping, sweat inducing movement. Do it 5-7 times a day and you will look like a rock star, do it 3-4 times a week and you'll totally notice the difference in a few weeks. Do it less than that you might as well do a tour of the fridge for your exercise - because you're wasting your time.

8. Avoid any baked good that you haven't baked. Why? store bought are full of crap and this also means you won't eat them very often unless you are a baking freak. If you are baking freak limit it to 3 items a week.

9. Have a vice that doesn't involve calories or losing money. Don't take up online gambling because you're trying to avoid eating a bag of cheetos. When I started hard core working out again in Australia (a few years back) my vice was watching the professional footy boys doing their workout while I was working out. In a word yummy. Gosh eye candy can be very motivating. Now of course my motivation is creating world peace and helping insects keep their natural habitats....I've evolved.

10. Get naked on a regular basis - See it all come back to this. If you're planning on having someone see you naked on a regular basis you're more likely to make and keep the effort up. If you aren't planning on it than pretend you are and make them really demanding.  I'd like to think people will do this for themselves but the fear of being alone and gross seems to be a much better motivator.

11. Do weights or calisthenics. Get off the treadmill and push your body weight around doing pull ups, push ups, sit ups and the plank. Use weights. The more muscle mass you have the higher your metabolic rate and the harder your ass will be. You'll be bouncing quarters off it in no time.

Get Rid of the Bloat
I've had a few people who have digestion issues so here are some tips that also help with breaking down your food in a more efficient way and getting more nutrients out of your food.

Firstly if you're experiencing gas or bloating after a meal it could be a variety of issues - hard to get specific to cause when I'm speaking generally but some rules of thumb.

1. Notice what makes you bloated - top contenders for bloat are beans, meat, and carbs. If it's always a specific food than it may just be that you are low in that specific enzyme ie. for milk it would be lactase or beans are a common one, if you don't eat them frequently, products like Beano (which are enzymes do work). It can also be food intolerances - but that is less common.

2. Don't drink water during your meals. It doesn't help with digestion. Have your water 1/2 before or well after your meal.

3. My favorite recommendation for people who are experiencing bloating after meals are the following: a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar about 10 minutes before you start your meal - it works wonders, or my total favorite have Swedish bitters. These items have been used for ages and they really work, they ca be found at your local health food store. They get your digestive juices flowing and get everything primed so that when you eat the process goes much more smoothly and digestion happens as it should.  You won't need to use these forever, usually a month does the trick and your body gets back on track.

So enough of the love bullshit, I know you've used it as an excuse to eat crap for the last three days. So find true love and go eat a banana naked.

have a happy ass week.


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