Dealing with the Truth in Health Care Reform and Relationships
Posted Aug 24 2009 12:31pm
It appears to me that some opponents of President Obama and/or his health care plan have argued vehemently and viciously against the plan using reasons that are based on misrepresentations and not facts. This leads me to believe that their opposition has nothing to do with the complaints they’re making, and that there is a hidden agenda.
Rather than argue and debate the misrepresentations, which are ultimately non-issues, it would behoove us to stop wasting our time and direct our attention at exposing and confronting the hidden agenda, the real issues that are driving the opposition.
The same is true in personal relationships: When we are in a disagreement with our significant other over issues being directed at us that make no sense, and no amount of logical, reasonable discourse is having any impact, the odds are there is another agenda, a hidden one.
If we don’t discover this other agenda, the real reasons why our significant other is upset with us, we waste our time arguing, resentments build up, and there is never any adequate communication, validation or repair.
So what might the hidden agendas be?
(1) Our significant other may be upset over something else entirely that has nothing to do with us, and we are simply the recipients of their displaced anxieties and aggressions;
(2) Our significant other may be upset over something that we did in the past. Having not processed a prior hurt, stored up resentments express themselves in inappropriate ways;
(3) Our significant other may be upset over other issues that are generating anxiety and conflict in the relationship, but is unwilling to address them, most likely due to fear of what our reaction might be.
In summary, when things don’t make sense in our relationships, it is advisable to assume there is another agenda and to work at uncovering what it might be, so that core problems can be sufficiently addressed and hopefully resolved for the greatest good of all concerned.