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Daddy Drinks Grocery List

Posted Sep 27 2012 2:35pm
My grocery list when I was single and childless: 12-pack of Natural Light, dozen eggs, sack of potatoes, chips, salsa, 13 frozen burritos. Total weekly cost: $12.99. My grocery list now: Too extensive to recount here. Total cost: A lot. Daily. Seriously, I go to the grocery store just about every f$#%*^! day. I’m predominantly there for dairy products. Three different kinds of milk, nine different kinds of yogurt, 13 kinds of cheeses. My advice to those of you who will soon be parents: buy a cow. It’ll save you time and money in the long run. Do you know what it’s like to steer two 3.5-year-olds through a grocery store? It’s like trying to get two drunk frat boys out of a strip club without exhausting their bank accounts. Everything just looks so damn tempting to them. It’s aisle after aisle of shiny, sugary crap that my kids absolutely have to have. Grocery shopping is only possible with the free bags of popcorn (thanks Ingles!) and 12 milligrams of Benadryl per child. ...
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