There I was, driving along in the car this morning on the way to work, and mulling over the fact that my weigh in this morning showed I'd stayed the same. I was trying to work out how I felt about this fact, as it's the first time that I've not registered a loss since starting this. There were definite feelings of disappointment - after all, I'd taken a SP yesterday and the scales has said 15st 7lb, and yet here I was this morning back at 15st 8.5lb *sigh*. There were feelings of justification - the guilty conscience trying to reason that it's only temporary, and just due to the fact that I went out for a large meal quite late last night, but it was all pointed into my daily allowance, so should be back to normal soon. And there were feelings of vindication, because I'd proved myself right.
Whoa!! I'd proved myself right??? What kind of sick sense of satisfaction am I getting from that! And then it occured to me, that the book was right, and I'd never even noticed this before. The book in question, is the same book that triggered the motivation list in the previous post - a book on the psychology of dieting. The next chapter on had been talking about how most dieters fail, because we are inherantly conditioned to think that dieting is hard, that it won't work, and that we will therefore fail ..... and if I'll be damned if I wasn't sat there in my car this morning, having those exact same thoughts!
It's an alarming thought - that we in the habit of thinking we will fail, and therefore we do .... well, if, as the book said, I've successfully formed the habit of eating to stay overweight, then I can change that - I can form a habit to get slimmer and to believe I will succeed. Well, it's made me more positive for today at least!!
So I've reminded myself of all the stuff on my list, and actually I feel far more positive about this.